


Bunker Shenanigans Presents:

by BattleshipGarcy



Category: Timeless (TV 2016)
Genre: AU, Bunker Shenanigans, Bunker Shenanigans Presents, Bunker parents, F/M, Flogan, Flufus - Freeform, Garcy slow burn, Gen, Humor, OOC, PapaVision, Rittenhouse, Silly, Winyatt, Wyatt Logan/Winnie, Wyatt is married but he's a jerk so he's pining after Lucy, Wyjess, but anything sexytimes won't end up smutty, canon is boring so i'll be ignoring most of it, continuity means nothing, each chapter is its own little story, garcy, i'll probably pick on everyone else at one point or another, no need to wait for the chapter count to show that the story has been completed, no one is safe from the silliness that will ensue, possible eventual crude or toilet humor, possible eventual sexual situations, riya - Freeform, sometimes not Garcy slow burn, there will be plenty of Garcy moments, there will probably be awkward lyatt-ish moments in this eventually, there's no main story arc in this multi-chapter story, this is going to be a series of silly OOC bunker stories, time travel missions are not a priority here, winnie - Freeform, wyatt is my comedic punching bag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2020-09-26 16:15:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20392531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BattleshipGarcy/pseuds/BattleshipGarcy
Summary: A collection of silly, often (read: always) OOC, stories about life in the Time Team bunker.This collection of stories is not meant to be taken seriously. When I first began writing, slapstick humor was my main genre and sometimes I miss writing for it, so I created BSP as a place where I can dabble with slapstick humor again using the characters from Timeless. You don't necessarily have to read these stories in order, but they often connect to each other. I'm not limiting the amount of chapters that will be written in this series. It is on-going as long as these moronic ideas enter my head and I have the time to write them. No editor/beta used, typos are mine and if I ever re-read and catch them, I'll edit to fix them. I hope these stories bring a smile to your face and plenty of laughter. Enjoy!





	1. It's Raining Wyatt

**Author's Note:**

> "Bunker Shenanigans Presents:" brings you a world filled with silly situations that befall the Time Team and life in the bunker. All your favorite Time Team characters will make an appearance here. This is a collection of AU stories that I'll be working on between my more serious multi-chapters and one-shots. The maturity level of these characters is questionable. Morals and ethics go out the door. Expect a litte to a lot of "out-of-character" moments and exaggerated silly events. It's possible all ships will be made fun of or teased within the chapters of this collection. This series of stories is in no way intended to be taken seriously, and I hope they bring you at least a laugh or two. 
> 
> The chapters within are brought to you without the benefit of a beta-reader/editor.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you're this insecure about yourself you really should check for hidden cameras.

“He’s been locked in there all day. What do you think he’s doing?” Jiya whispers to Lucy as they sit on the couch at ten o’clock at night, watching black and white reruns of _I Love Lucy_ on TV.

Lucy glances behind them in the direction of Garcia’s bunk. She shrugs her shoulders.

“Why do you think I would know?” She asks.

“Are you kidding me?” Jiya laughs.

Lucy looks at her expectantly. No. She really has no idea what her friend is talking about.

Jiya shakes her head in disbelief, “You and Flynn…”

“Flynn and I, what?”

Rufus enters the room wearing one of Jiya’s flamingo pink bath robes and his blue flip-flops, he carries in his hand a yellow rubber ducky and a bottle of bubble bath soap.

“I look ridiculous.” He states.

Jiya and Lucy look at him and despite how ridiculous he looks, they don’t even crack a smile.

“I’m like one-hundred percent sure that Flynn either threw away my regular bathrobe, or he hid it on me somewhere in this bunker. Probably someplace up high where none of us, except him, can see it.”

“That doesn’t prevent you from enjoying the garden bath he installed in the bathroom last week.” Lucy says, eyeing her friend from head to toe. Her lips curl into a smile and she giggles.

“No. It doesn’t. We live in a confined space with Flynn. A terrorist and murderer.” He pauses and squeezes the rubber ducky so it squeaks to emphasize the seriousness of their living conditions. “A man needs a nice, warm bubble bath at least three times a week to de-stress.”

Lucy and Jiya watch Rufus as he heads toward the restroom. Once he’s out of view – but not out of hearing range – they burst out laughing. They turn their attention back to the television and their previous conversation.

“Connor said he heard Flynn laughing to himself in his bunk early this morning.” Jiya says as she reaches for a bowl of popcorn on the coffee table in front of them.

“Flynn laughs when he’s not being a sarcastic ass?” Lucy asks. "Who knew?"

“Lucy… just stop it.” Jiya shoves a handful of popcorn into her mouth.

“Stop what?”

“Pretending that you and Flynn don’t hang out behind all our backs.”

“We don’t-”

Wyatt swaggers into the room and plops down next to Lucy on the couch, throwing his dirty shoes up on the table in front of them.

“Hey, Luce.” He nods his head as if he’s all that.

“Lucy, Wyatt. Please just call me Lucy.”

“Sure thing, Luce.” He leans forward and picks up the bowl of popcorn and places it in his lap and proceeds to scarf a couple handfuls down. Several half-gnawed-on pieces of popcorn fall back into the bowl.

Gross.

Lucy stands up.

“I don’t know about you two, but I’m exhausted and I’m going to bed.” She tells her friends as Jiya regards Wyatt with an air of disgust as more popcorn falls from his mouth back into the popcorn bowl.

“Luce! Don’t you sleep out here on the couch?!” Wyatt shouts after her as Lucy picks up her pace and hurries around the corner and down the hall toward Garcia’s room.

She’s practically running by the time she gets to Garcia’s bunk door. She doesn’t knock as she usually does because she’s afraid Mr. Wyatt “Calls Me Luce and I Hate It” Logan is chasing after her. She throws the door open and slams it shut, pressing her back against it. She blinks her eyes when she looks and sees Garcia Flynn standing in only his black boxer briefs, rubbing coconut oil on his chest. Lucy takes in that tall glass of water and inhales the pleasant scent of coconut as she steps toward him.

“Hey.” She says in a tone that unintentionally sounds seductive.

“Hey?” He replies. “Everything ok?”

Lucy looks around his room and sees that he has managed to acquire a laptop computer which is open on his desk against the back wall. She takes the jar of coconut oil from Garcia’s hands and dips her fingers into it, handing the jar back to him.

“Turn around.” She tells him and he does as he’s told.

Lucy melts the oil in her hands and starts rubbing it all over Garcia’s back. The entire time she stares at the laptop monitor. It looks like… she squints her eyes.

“Did you install surveillance cameras in the bunker?” She asks as she glides her slick hands across his strong shoulders.

“Why are you helping me apply coconut oil?” He avoids her question.

Lucy blinks and looks at her hands. In his state of undress, she apparently has found herself in some kind of trance where she is in fact rubbing oil on his back. She quickly removes her hands from his body and steps away from him, unsure what to do with her oily hands.

“Do you have a towel?” She asks.

Garcia turns around and winks at her as he bends down and picks up a hand towel from his bed. She takes it and wipes her hands.

“Usually you knock before entering, Lucy.” He smiles. “Does this mean we’re taking our friendship to the next level?” His heart flutters. He’s flirting with her again. The first time that he flirted with Lucy since he moved in to this bunker, he stayed up all night playing his line over and over again in his head. Then when he heard his words come out of his mouth – _you were a gentle and responsive lover_ – he had to laugh at how ridiculous it sounded. Thankfully, Lucy let him off the hook and ever since then the two of them have undoubtedly become closer.

“You’re avoiding my question.” She says, avoiding his question.

“Oh… about the surveillance cameras. Yeah… I found some in a box in the storage closet last week and I installed one in the bunker.”

“Just one? Why? And more important… which room did you install it in?” Lucy asks, kicking off her shoes and untucking her shirt. She eyes Garcia again from head to toe and decides if he’s comfortable enough around her in his underwear, that she might as well do the same. She unbuttons and unzips her jeans and takes them off. Now she's standing in front of him in only her white t-shirt and black panties.

“Wyatt’s room.” Garcia answers her, giving her a good head-to-toe, wetting his lips.

Lucy throws her jeans on the corner chair and turns to face him. She reaches behind her back and unhooks her bra and enjoys the grin on Garcia’s face as she manages to remove her bra without taking off her t-shirt. She throws her bra at him and he catches it.

“What are you grinning about?” She asks with a wink.

“Nothing.” He chuckles.

“So… Wyatt’s room?” She sits down on the edge of his bed and looks up at him.

Garcia’s grin turns into a wide smile and before she knows it, he’s laughing. She watches him pick up the laptop. He sits down next to her and hits the triangular play button on the media player.

“You gotta see this, Lucy.” He’s laughing so hard his shoulders are shaking which makes it hard to make out what exactly she’s supposed to be looking at on the laptop in his hands. So, she takes the laptop from him, and he falls down on the bed behind them, laughing so hard that she thinks she just heard him snort.

Lucy watches the video and sees Wyatt Logan staring out the window in front of him. He’s alone in his and Jessica’s bunk, his arms crossed in front of his chest. She leans closer to the monitor and watches as Wyatt checks his hair in the reflection of the window.

“You. are. THE. man.” Wyatt tells his reflection. “You are strong and you are buff.” Wyatt reaches forward and caresses (?!?!) his reflection. “Now go out there and walk as if you’ve got a ginormous eggplant between your legs. The ladies like the swagger, and you, Wyatt Sherwin Logan, have all the swagger. Swag, swag, swag, swag, swag. Now go out there and show Luce that she’s making a big mistake not being your piece on the side.”

At first, Lucy is horrified. Her jaw drops and she glances back at Garcia who is trying to catch his breath on the bed behind her. She rewinds the video.

“… ginormous eggplant between your legs.”

Lucy slams her finger on the pause button and bursts out laughing. “Oh. My. God. No! No! No!” She exclaims as she rewinds the video again. As bad as this is, and as horrible it is that you can’t unsee _this_, she has to watch it again.

“… ginormous eggplant…” She rewinds again, “… ginormous eggplant…” She rewinds again, “… ginormous eggplant between your legs. The ladies like the swagger, and you, Wyatt Sherwin Logan, have all the swagger. Swag, swag, swag, swag, swag.”

“Flynn!!!” She exclaims and slaps his shoulder as he finally has stopped laughing long enough to sit up. “What the hell?!”

“He thinks he has a ginormous eggplant.” Garcia giggles like a schoolboy as he says this, rewinding the video again. He covers his mouth and chuckles as…

“… ginormous eggplant between your legs.”

Garcia hits pause again and looks at Lucy. They both laugh in tandem, tickled at this majestic and hilarious gem that Garcia has managed to uncover about their bunkmate.

“It gets better...” Garcia says and scrubs through the video to a later time. “This is from this morning.”

Lucy watches as Wyatt reenters his bunk wearing a bathrobe. His hair is wet and he's just come from the shower. He hugs Jessica and kisses her on the cheek as she leaves, closing the bunk door behind her. Everything is normal at first. Wyatt runs a comb through his hair and swishes (then swallows?) some wintergreen mouthwash. Then… he goes to the window again and winks at his reflection and points at it.

“Hi, we’re you’re Wyatt girls. Ah-huh. And have we got news for you. You better listen. Get ready, all you lonely girls. And leave those umbrellas at home! All right…” Wyatt twirls in place and picks up one of Jessica’s hairbrushes and uses it as a microphone as he sings his Wyatt rendition of _It’s Raining Men_, “Humidity is rising… barometer’s getting low… According to all the sources, the street’s the place to go… ‘cause tonight for the first time – FIRST TIME! – Just about half-past ten, for the first time in history, it’s gonna start raining Wyaaaaatt!”

Wyatt jump kicks into the air and his bathrobe falls to the ground. But does he care? No. He’s buck naked and dancing around, swinging his "ginormous eggplant" as if it were a tassle, and singing as if he were Izora Rhodes and Martha Wash all wrapped into his little five-foot ten package. Lucy nearly drops the laptop on the floor as she covers her mouth to keep herself from laughing too loud and drawing the attention of the others in the bunker.

“It’s raining Wyatt! Hallelujah, it’s raining Wyatt! Amen! I’m gonna go out to run and let myself get ABSOLUTELY SOAKING WET!!! It’s raining Wyatt!” Wyatt gyrates his hips Elvis-style then drops to one knee and pumps his fist as if he’s a bloody rockstar. “It’s raining Wyatt! Hallelujah, it’s raining Wyatt! Every specimen! Tall, blond, dark and lean! Rough and tough and strong and mean!”

Abruptly, Wyatt stops as if it never happened. He winks at his reflection in the window again and fixes his hair as he changes into his jeans.

“He goes commando?” Lucy asks through her tears of laughter, and all Garcia can do is nod his head and laugh with her.

They watch as Wyatt throws on a white t-shirt and a blue flannel shirt. He winks at himself again and steps closer to his reflection.

“So whaddaya think, Winnie? Think I’d look good if I dyed my hair blond?” Wyatt asks… _the mirror_…

“Who’s Winnie?” Lucy asks Garcia, snorting as she laughs.

“I think he named the window!” Garcia howls, then quickly covers his mouth.

Lucy collapses in Garcia’s lap in a fit of laughter. This is too much.

Garcia closes the laptop and sets it down on the floor, and pushes it underneath his bed. They spend another couple of minutes laughing about their resident closeted-Weather Girl and his ginormous eggplant before settling down.

“You sleeping here tonight?” Garcia asks, standing up to allow Lucy his bed.

“You don’t mind, do you?” She asks, and chuckles again at what she saw on the surveillance video. “And…” Her eyes fall on his fine tight ass as he walks away from her toward the chair in the corner of the room, “… you don’t have to sleep in that chair. It gets cold in here and having a warm body next to me is… nice…”

Garcia turns around and smiles. And much to Lucy’s dismay, he slips it on over his head before turning off the light and crawling into bed with her. They are quiet for a moment, pretending that everything is back to normal after what they just watched, and then they both simultaneously burst into laughter.

"You just can't unsee it." Garcia whispers quietly, trying not to laugh too hard again.

“We have to keep this a secret between us, ok?” She says.

“I know. We can’t risk anyone finding out.” He chuckles. "Just between us... it's better entertainment than reruns of old TV shows, that's for sure."

Lucy rolls onto her side and looks at Garcia, his eyes are sparkling. She’s never seen him so happy and relaxed, and it suits him. And even though they’re just friends and there’s absolutely nothing going on between them, Lucy places a soft kiss on his cheek before settling into his body, closing her eyes and falling asleep.


	2. Splish Splash Bubble Bath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garcia Flynn takes a morning bubble bath.

Perhaps installing this bathtub was a mistake.

Garcia Flynn sits crunched up in the teeny tiny bathtub. Well, it’s teeny tiny for him, resident giant of the Time Team bunker. His knees stick out of the cooling water and he looks at his towel hanging on the chair next to the tub.

Perhaps it’s time he got out.

You see, he got up early this morning to enjoy what he had hoped would have been a relaxing bubble bath in warm water before Wyatt woke up and used up all the hot water again. Garcia figured that everyone else has been able to enjoy the tub he worked hours on to install, that he should to. So, last night, Lucy gave him her bottle of lavender scented bubble bath soap and told him that if he was so worried about what everyone would think of him – big tough Garcia Flynn – taking a bubble bath, that he should do it when no one was awake.

Just as he places his hands on both sides of the tub to lift himself out, the bathroom door opens and Rufus Carlin enters, wearing Jiya’s (though everyone suspects it’s really his) flamingo pink bathrobe – and was it mentioned before that not only is this bathrobe pink, but it features dark pink flamingos frolicking among palm trees? Rufus stops dead in his tracks when he sees naked Flynn half-submerged in the bubble bath, struggling to lift his large body out.

The two men look at one another. There’s a delicate time allotment here where Rufus could back out of the bathroom and pretend he never saw this, and sticking around too long where forgetting this ever happened is an impossibility.

One… two… three… four… five… ten… _aaaaawkward_… fifteen, sixteen… _more awkward silence_… twenty… twenty-five… _this is getting ridiculous_… seconds pass and Rufus and Garcia are still staring at each other without having made a single move.

That time allotment, ladies and gents, has passed.

Garcia sinks back down into the cooling water of his once warm and comfortable bubble bath. Rufus closes the bathroom door behind him.

“You know, Flynn… we have that chair rule for a reason.” Rufus says, turning to look at his reflection in the mirror as he sets his yellow rubber ducky on the countertop.

“Didn’t think anyone else got up this early.” Garcia says, wishing that Rufus would have walked out that door and they could have pretended this never happened.

“Is that water still relatively warm?” Rufus asks, eyeing the water that Garcia is sitting in.

“Yes. Why?”

Rufus removes his flamingo pink bathrobe, revealing an equally ridiculous sea-green with seashells and _Finding Dory_ print swimming trunks. Rufus turns around to drape his robe over the counter, and Garcia wrinkles his brow. There, on the behind of Rufus’s swim trunks, it says “just keep swimming.”

And as if it weren’t already awkward enough… Rufus grabs his rubber ducky and plunges one leg after the other into the tub. He sits down across from Garcia as water splashes out of the tub onto the tile floor. He ignores the look that he’s receiving from Garcia and ducks his rubber duck underneath the water, squeezing the air out of it so it makes bubbles, he laughs.

“Rufus…?”

Rufus doesn’t dare look up at Garcia. But he is content that he’s finally enjoying some warm bathing water for a change. Damn Wyatt for being a hot water hog.

“Rufus?”

“So, I was thinking that the next time Rittenhouse jumps-”

“What the hell are you doing?” Garcia is doing all that he can to not yell at the man sitting in the tub across from him. He’s freaking naked and Rufus is in the effing tub with him. And to think that only moments ago Rufus was trying to lecture him about the chair rule.

“I’m taking a bubble bath.”

“I see that, but couldn’t you wait?” Garcia sneers.

“And risk you draining the warm water? I don’t think so.” Rufus flashes a toothy smile at Garcia and keeps his cool, hoping that there are limited options with which Garcia could try to kill him here in the bathtub. “Plus… everyone else is sleeping and… I’m in my swim trunks as I assume you are-”

“Who bathes in their swim trunks?!” Garcia exclaims a little too loudly.

“Shhh! Do you want to wake everyone up and have them walk in on this?” Rufus asks.

“No.” Garcia whispers back, getting angrier and angrier with the man sitting across from him, playing with a fucking rubber ducky. “What’s with the duck?”

“Jiya found it in a box in the storage room and gave it to me as a happy unbirthday present.”

“Unbirthday, what are you talking about?”

“You’ve never heard of unbirthday? It’s from Lewis Carroll’s novel, Through the Looking-Glass, there’s a song about it in the Alice in Wonderland movie…” Rufus raises his brow at Garcia. “Really?”

“Get out.”

“Nah, I’m quite comfortable.” Rufus says as he ducks his rubber duck under the water and lets it go so it splashes out of the water, getting water on Garcia’s face.

“Get out of the tub, Rufus.”

“Nope.”

“What the hell is wrong with you. Get out.”

“Nuh-uh.”

Garcia’s face is flushed bright red. He’s not a modest man so ok, fuck it. He stands up in the tub just as the bathroom door opens and Jessica Logan enters, a bath towel slung over her shoulder. She takes one look at Garcia and Rufus and assumes that _certain shenanigans_ are _going down_ between them.

“Oh my God! I am so sorry!” Jessica exclaims, spinning on her heel and immediately leaving the bathroom area not wanting to intrude on whatever it is that those two are doing where Garcia is standing nude in front of Rufus in the bathtub.

Jessica hurries down the hallway and runs right smack into Lucy. They fall to the ground and all their toiletries scatter all over the floor.

“I’m so sorry.” Lucy says as she helps Jessica pick up her belongings.

“Headed to the bathroom?” Jessica asks.

“I was. Did you need to use it first?”

“Don’t go in there.”

“Why?”

“Let’s just say that a lot of people in this bunker just lost a bet regarding Flynn.” Jessica says.

“What bet?”

“Right… you weren’t privy to that one. Umm… there’s a pool going, it’s up to two-hundred dollars, that says that you and Flynn have a little sumthin’ sumthin’ going on behind closed doors, but don’t worry. We’re wrong.”

“Sumthin’ sumthin’?” Lucy asks. “I have no idea what you mean.” Says the woman who spent the previous night snuggled up to Garcia Flynn in his bed wearing only her white t-shirt and black panties. “And…” Lucy wonders how to ask this while remaining neutral to this Flynn/Lucy thing that everyone else has going on, “… what makes you so sure you’re all wrong?”

“Flynn and Rufus are taking a bath together right now.” Jessica says bluntly.

Lucy laughs, believing that Jessica is pulling her leg.

“Right, Rufus and Flynn bathe together all the time.” She says sarcastically. “That’s why Rufus is always afraid that Flynn is going to try to kill him again.” She pauses and decides to defend her would-be-should-be-could-be lover. “I mean, not that Flynn actually wanted Rufus to die, I mean… he asked Capone to do it for him and had no guarantees that Capone would succeed.”

Jessica rolls her eyes at Lucy, that girl is OB.VI.OUS!

And then, from the bathroom Rufus has burst into song…

“A very merry unbirthday, to me! To who?! To me! Oh you!”

The bathroom door opens and Garcia emerges holding only a small towel around his waist. He stops when he sees Lucy and Jessica. He stares at them and they stare at him. Lucy gives him a look as she walks up to him, and cracks open the bathroom door and peers inside. Sure enough, there’s Rufus – happy as a clownfish – sitting in the small bathtub, singing. He glances over and waves at Lucy.

“Flynn…? What… what were you and Rufus… were you two taking a bath together?” She asks, looking up at him. His mid-section may be wrapped in a towel, but the rest of him is still soaking wet, and he has soap bubbles all over his chest.

“I was… I was showering and-”

“LIES!” Jessica exclaims and comes to stand next to Lucy, crossing her arms and shaking her head at Garcia. “All lies.”

“-and Rufus came in and got in the tub.” He finishes.

“Liar.” Jessica pokes Garcia hard on the chest. “You were standing in front of him, in the tub, with your ding dong dangling in his face. I saw it. You can’t lie.”

“My ding dong?” He’s confused and looks to Lucy for clarification.

“Your… penis.” Lucy says, blushing.

“Oh.” His eyes are wide and he looks at Jessica. “Ok, fine. I was taking a bath-”

“Correction, you were taking a _bubble_ bath.” Jessica says.

Garcia huffs, “I was taking a bubble bath and Rufus, he… he hopped in.” Garcia throws his arms up into the air and the towel he was holding around his waist falls to the floor.

Lucy glances back in at Rufus in the bathtub, and looks again at Garcia. She closes the door. Then she looks to Jessica who nods her head in Garcia’s direction… the central direction and Lucy looks down and sees his ding dong. She bends down and picks up his towel and hands it to him. But instead of holding it over his dick, he uses it to rub his hair dry.

“What the hell is going on?” Wyatt chimes in seeing his wife and his should-be mistress standing in the hallway with a naked Garcia Flynn.

“Flynn and Rufus took a bath together.” Jessica says with glee, enjoying watching Garcia squirm.

“Oh really?” Wyatt wiggles his eyebrows. “Is Jiya aware of this, Flynn? Far as I know, Jiya frowns upon infidelity.”

“Nothing happened.” Garcia says, with growing frustration now that Mr. Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag has joined them. “I was minding my own business and he just… joined me.”

“Right. Like we’re going to believe that.” Wyatt smirks, playfully punching Garcia on the shoulder.

Garcia glares at Wyatt.

“And you’re one to be bringing up infidelity.” Garcia spits back at Wyatt.

Wyatt steps toward Garcia, rolling up his sleeves, looking for a fight.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Wyatt asks.

“Ok…” Lucy steps to stand between the two men before things escalate. She holds her hands against the chests of both men. Wyatt’s whole demeanor changes at her touch. He was ready to go hard at Garcia for suggesting that he’s unfaithful to his wife, but the touch of Lucy Preston melts his heart. He looks at her with heart-eyes and sighs, leaning into her touch. Disturbed, Lucy removes her hand from Wyatt’s chest and he nearly falls onto her. She backs up into Garcia’s body. Her heart races knowing that she’s pressed up against his nudity.

Yeah, no… there’s nothing going on between she and Garcia. They are strictly friends. Just friends. Good friends. Good friends with cuddling benefits. Cuddling benefits only. And talking. A lot of just talking. No interest in each other in the physical whatsoever. Lucy closes her eyes and leans back against Garcia. Forgetting in the moment that she’s doing this in front of Wyatt and Jessica.

Garcia places his hands on Lucy’s shoulders and gently pushes her off him. He’s naked and really wants to ditch this conversation to get dressed.

The door to the bathroom opens and Rufus exits, quietly singing to himself, “To me? To you! A very merry unbirthday… now blow the candle out my dear, and make your wish come true! A merry merry unbirthday-” He stops short when he sees four pairs of eyes set on him. He closes the flamingo pink bathrobe and looks at them. “What? Can’t a man enjoy a bubble bath and a tune first thing in the morning?” He reads the room and the horrified expression on Garcia’s face, he goes with it. “Nice sharing a little splish splash bubble bath with you, Flynn.”

Garcia is horrified when Rufus smacks his bare ass with his hand as he walks past him and down the hallway, whistling the tune to _The Unbirthday Song_.

And just like that the alarm sounds to let them all know that the Mothership has jumped and they all need to get their asses into gear to chase down Rittenhouse to stop them from changing history.


	3. Bad Guys Is Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garcia and Wyatt are forced to spend time together and decide to go shopping. Meanwhile, the ladies are getting ready for a girls only sleepover in the bunk.

It was a bright and sunny day, or so it seemed to be for two men who rarely were allowed out of the Time Team’s bunker. In actuality, the sky is overcast and there’s a good chance for storms later in the evening.

Garcia Flynn and Wyatt Logan walk on the sidewalk of a posh shopping district in downtown San Francisco. They have been sent on a mission in present day, 2017. Neither one of them wants to be spending time with the other, but bunker mama, Denise Christopher, demanded it.

And why would she demand that these two men who hate each other spend this overcast sunny day together? The answer is simple. She thinks that if they spend time bonding that they will come to better understand each other and stop fighting.

Garcia stops in front of a store window and takes off his sunglasses. He squints as he looks at the clothing on display. Tactical gear. Lots and lots of tactical gear. He turns his head and stares down at the shorter man next to him, Wyatt. Wyatt, who’s dressed like Tom Cruise in _Top Gun_, short and stout.

Attempting to look more cool than the taller man standing next to him, Wyatt whips his sunglasses off and they go flying across the sidewalk having slipped from his fingers.

Fuck.

Wyatt clears his throat and squats down to retrieve his glasses. He pretends it didn’t happen and reads the signage on the window.

“Bad Guys Is Us.”

Garcia nods his head.

“It was either we go shopping for clothes together or endure lunch at a restaurant, or a movie.” Garcia says.

They step into the store and are greeted by a tall brunette woman. She’s dressed in tactical gear with a gun holster resting on her hip. She smiles up at Garcia and down at Wyatt.

“Welcome to Bad Guys Is Us, we’re here to make you look hot and bad.” She says.

Wyatt winks at her and juts his chin forward. He’s about to open his mouth to say something asenine, but Garcia stops him before he can embarrass himself.

“Wyatt! You winked.” Garcia says as if in shock. “Did you hurt your botox?”

The young woman laughs, and quickly stops herself as she’s not supposed to engage in the insulting of customers. She looks at Garcia and says, “Let me know if you need help finding anything, or…” She eyes him head to toe, “… if you need any assistance trying on any of our gear.”

Garcia and Wyatt walk away and Wyatt leans toward the taller man, “I do not do botox.”

“Sweet baby face like yours, at your age…?” Garcia smirks. “I don’t buy that.”

“I have a really good skin care regimen, thank you.”

“Cocoa butter and coconut oil?” Garcia asks.

“Hey. Rumor around the bunker says that you coat yourself in coconut oil at night so you’re one to talk.” Wyatt retorts.

“Coconut oil is good for skin care. Yes, I use it.” Garcia smiles.

“You’re vain, you know that?”

“Vain?” Garcia wrinkles his brow. “In what ways am I vain?”

“Well, for starters… coconut oil, and… and… and…”

“And?” Garcia laughs. “You’re so full of bullshit, Wyatt, you know that? If anyone is vain in the bunker it’s you.” Garcia states as a fact as he pauses to look at a Kevlar bulletproof vest.

“Screw you, Flynn.” Wyatt sneers.

“You take showers long enough to use up all the hot water…” Garcia holds the Kevlar vest against him and looks to Wyatt for reaction, he gets none. “…you never shave that peach fuzz from your face, I suspect because you know that if you do the twelve-year-old boy jokes would be relentless-”

“From you, no doubt.”

Garcia shrugs, yes, if Wyatt shaved his face to be baby-butt smooth, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from making wisecracks about it. “I saw you using your wife’s nail file last night to trim your nails… and your skin…” Garcia touches Wyatt’s forearm, “is baby-butt smooth which suggests the use of a moisturizer, perhaps Shea butter.”

“Fuck off, Flynn.” Wyatt says and storms off.

“Hey! I’m not saying a good skin care regimen is a bad thing. I actually think it’s admirable!” Garcia shouts after him. Wyatt flips him the bird and keeps on walking.

\-----

Wyatt stares at his reflection on the dressing room wall mirror.

Next to his changing stall, Garcia stares at his reflection as well.

Wyatt flexes his muscles and poses as if he were a bodybuilder, he kisses his bicep.

Garcia stands with his legs apart and his hands on his hips and stares down the mirror.

Wyatt thinks he looks damn good in the black, short-sleeve mock-turtleneck he’s trying on.

Garcia knows he looks damn good in the black, short-sleeve mock-turtleneck he’s trying on.

The two men step out of their changing room stalls and see each other. They’ve tried on identical outfits. The mock-turtleneck is tight-fitting on Garcia, showing off his muscular build, hugging his bicep. Not so much for Wyatt, who refused to try on a smaller size than the taller man because he didn’t want to admit that he’s smaller in build than this Croatian Mother Fucker. Wyatt’s mock-turtleneck is baggy, and hangs loosely from his neck.

Garcia gives Wyatt a look, raises his brow and pulls out his smart phone and snaps a picture of Wyatt. He turns the camera on himself and snaps a picture. Wyatt watches as Garcia looks to be typing a message to someone.

A smile creeps onto Garcia’s face as he hits send. He puts his phone back in the back pocket of his pants.

\-----

Lucy’s phone dings and she glances at it on the coffee table, the notification light is blinking red indicating that she’s received a text from Garcia.

“Is that who I think it is?” Jessica asks, pausing the episode of _24_ that they’re watching.

“Oh no…” She says as she picks up her phone.

“What?” Jiya asks sitting down next to her friends.

“It’s a text from Flynn.” She looks at her girlfriends. “Do I read it now or sit on it because chances are he’s whining like a baby about having to spend time with Wyatt?”

Jiya doesn’t give her any option. She grabs Lucy’s phone and opens the text message.

“Lucy, we’re twinning. Hahaha.” Jiya reads the text message aloud, then turns the phone around to show Lucy and Jessica the photo of Wyatt in the very baggy, ill-fitting black mock-turtleneck.

Jessica shakes her head. “Did they not have that shirt in Wyatt’s size? That looks like it would fit Flynn better than-”

Jiya shows Jessica the picture of Garcia in the same shirt: very tight, fitting and…

“Oh…” Jessica’s eyes widen. “He looks really good in that shirt. Lucy… did you see this?”

Jessica takes Lucy’s phone from Jiya and shows Lucy the picture of Garcia.

Lucy feels color rush to her face as she looks at the picture of Garcia. “Wow.” Is about all she can say. She places a stray strand of hair behind her ear and adds, “Do you think he’ll come back wearing that?” Lucy takes her phone from Jessica’s hand and leans back into the corner of the couch, staring at the photo.

Jiya and Jessica share a look and a few silent gestures to communicate how obvious it is that Lucy is developing quite the crush on their tall bunkmate.

“Are you going to reply?” Jessica asks.

“MmmmHm.” Lucy mutters, still staring at her phone. “You can see his nipples.” Lucy doesn’t mean to say this aloud but she did. She turns her phone to show Jiya and Jessica the photo. She’s zoomed in on his nipples which show through the tight-fitting mock-turtleneck.

“Yes… um…” Jiya looks at Jessica then back to Lucy. “… Lucy, you’re showing me a zoomed in photo of our bunker’s creepy uncle's nipples.”

Lucy turns the phone back so she can gawk at the photo again. She starts typing her reply, saying aloud what she’s going to send, “Is there a kids section? Maybe Wyatt would have better luck in smaller sizes. Haha.” She hits send. Then decides to send another message. “B.T.W… I think you should get that shirt. Jiya’s over here drooling over it.” She hits send.

“Lucy!!!” Jiya is horrified. “Why would you tell him that?”

“I can’t tell him that I’m the one drooling over him.” She says matter-of-fact.

“Is this an admission of a crush?” Jessica asks.

“No. I’m simply saying that Flynn looks good.”

Jiya and Jessica share another look. How long is Lucy going to deny her attraction to that man?

\-----

“Jiya’s over here drooling over it…” Garcia reads Lucy’s text aloud and scratches the side of his head.

“Oh yeah, didn’t you know. Jiya’s got a thing for you.” Wyatt explains.

“No, she doesn’t.” Garcia re-reads Lucy’s text. The young woman who greeted them passes him. “Excuse me.” He says to her.

“Yes?” She smiles, thrilled that this very attractive man has sought her help.

“I know this is a tactical outfitter, but do you have a kids section?”

“Excuse me?” She’s thrown off by his question.

“Flynn…” Wyatt says his name as a warning, he has a bad feeling about this.

“My friend here,” Garcia places his arm around Wyatt and pulls him toward him all friendly-like, “is having trouble finding adult sizes that fit him properly, and I was thinking that if you had sizes for kids that maybe he could find something better suited to his body type.”

“You’re such an asshole.” Wyatt says, pushing his way out of Garcia’s… _hug_ (??).

Garcia smiles after Wyatt as he stomps off, pouty like a little boy.

\-----

A couple hours later, Garcia and Wyatt return to the bunker, dressed in their new tactical gear. Garcia is dressed in black from head to toe: that black mock-turtleneck which is tucked into his new black cargo pants, and brand new black combat boots. He keeps his sunglasses on even though he’s back in the underground bunker to complete the look.

Lucy hears the metal door close from the kitchen. She’s changed into her grey sweatpants, white t-shirt, and one of Garcia’s jackets. Her hair is up in a messy bun and she looks like she’s attending a girls only sleepover. She holds a plate in her hand that has a several PB&J sandwiches. She turns and sees Garcia and drops the plate on the floor. He’s walking into the bunker with a swag that even the swaggiest man she’s ever seen, could never have. She hasn’t even noticed she dropped her food on the floor. She steps forward, squishing the PB&J sandwiches beneath her feet.

“Lucy.” Garcia greets her, glancing down at her peanut butter and jelly-soaked feet.

“I… I… um…” She nervously fidgets with her hair, crosses her arms across her stomach, and then places her hands on her hips. “Where’s Wyatt?”

“He couldn’t keep up.” He explains without really explaining.

“Uh huh…” Lucy reaches out and touches his chest, trailing her hand down to his abdomen. Garcia watches her and wonders if she knows what she’s doing.

“Lucy?”

“Hm?”

“Where’s Jiya?”

At the mention of Jiya’s name, Lucy snaps out of the trance-like state his gorgeousness put her under. She quickly removes her hand from his chest.

“Jiya? She um…”

“I want to see this drooling over me for myself.” He winks at Lucy, reaching out to caress her chin. He knows what’s what, and he thinks Lucy’s adorable when she tries to cover her attraction for him.

“Oh hey, you’re back. Where’s my tubby little hubby?” Jessica says with a smile on her face as she intentionally interrupted this little moment between Lucy and Garcia. Jiya walking at her side.

“He stayed up top to talk with the guards. He wanted to show off his new clothes.” Garcia explains in proper detail. He looks at Lucy, “And no… Bad Guys Is Us didn’t have a kids section.”

Lucy smiles and places her hand on his bicep, “I didn’t think they would. I was just joking.”

“I know.” Garcia smiles at her, looking at her hand gripping his arm.

“Please tell us that Wyatt didn’t buy those awfully baggy clothes.” Jiya says just as the bunker door opens and Wyatt enters.

And of course, he’s wearing the ill-fitting mock-turtleneck. His pants are too large for his body, and his old white Nike sneakers step on the fabric as he walks. And he walks as if he’s got a ginormous eggplant between his legs, and with all the swag, swag, swag he can muster.

Garcia and Lucy exchange a look.

“So…” Lucy starts, “… Flynn… your laptop… does it have any movies on it?” She asks.

Garcia laughs. “It does. Did you want to ditch your uh…” He looks at Jessica who has also changed into her pajamas, “… sleepover and watch a movie in my room?”

Lucy turns to him and takes both his hands in hers, she gazes up at him wondering why this moron – _her moron_ – is still wearing his sunglasses. She answers his question with, “I do.” She stares at him a little while longer and imagines them standing on a beach at sunset, the breeze flowing through their hair as they gaze at each other. He’ll recite his vows from memory, and she’ll improvise hers. He’ll slowly bend down and place his lips on hers and-

“Lucy?” Garcia interrupts her thoughts.

She opens her eyes and realizes that she’s pressed her body into his and has tilted her head back as if expecting a kiss from him now. Her eyes widen and she jumps away from him. She looks at Jessica and Jiya, they’re covering their mouths and giggling. Lucy shakes her head. If she keeps acting this way with Garcia they’re going to keep thinking that she has a thing for him, and that’s the last thing she wants anyone in this bunker to assume. He’s just a friend. A co-worker to be exact.

“On second thought, Flynn…” Lucy bites her lower lip as she takes in another good look at him. Mmm! He is fine! “On second thought, I promised Jess and Jiya a girls only sleepover tonight. We’ve got a Keanu Reeves movie marathon all set to go.”

“I understand.” He places his hand on her shoulder and removes his sunglasses. “And Lucy?”

“Uh huh?” She gazes up at him, leaning toward him again. Just hearing her name roll off his lips is like a dream.

“You might want to wash your shoes. You stepped on the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.”

He winks at her.

He turns around and walks away.

Jiya and Jessica close in on both sides of Lucy and all three women sigh as they watch Garcia walk from the kitchen and around the corner. They sigh simultaneously as Wyatt stands next to them. He too, is mesmerized by the back end of Garcia Flynn.

“God…” Wyatt says quietly. “He’s everything I wish I could be.”


	4. Strip Spin The Bottle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mama bear and papa bear aren't around to supervise the Time Team tonight. Things go from silly to awkward in no time, and unfortunately in a game like Strip Spin The Bottle, feelings get hurt.

“Ok, so here’s how it’s played. It’s just like your usual spin the bottle.” Jessica addresses her group of friends and bored-to-tears bunkmates as they sit on the floor next to the Lifeboat. “Only… if you refuse to kiss the person the bottle lands on, you have to remove an article of clothing.”

“I’m not sure about this.” Rufus says glancing over at Garcia, not to keen on the idea of losing his clothes for refusing to kiss the man who had Al Capone try to kill him.

“It was worse in high school.” Wyatt adds. “Back then the rules were that the kisses had to escalate. Peck on the cheek to start, peck on the lips, tongue…” Wyatt looks toward Lucy – who is heavily layered in preparation for playing this game – and winks. “Under the shirt groping while kissing… if you lost clothes, groping of bare body parts while kissing…”

“Wyatt always liked to get to dry humping as quickly as he could.” Jessica laughs. “Usually by that time he was in his tighty-whities.”

“Dude!” Rufus exclaims. “T.M.I.” He gives a disgusted look to Wyatt. “We’re not doing that here. In fact, why don’t we play Candyland or Clue or do one of the one-hundred jigsaw puzzles Denise bought for us.” Rufus looks at Garcia again, their eyes meet.

“What are you afraid of, Rufus?” Garcia asks. “We’re all friends here, aren’t we?”

“No. No, we are not.” Rufus stands up, and Jiya grabs onto his hand to prevent him from running off.

“C’mon, Ruru…” Jiya says, cooing at her boyfriend. “It’ll be fun.”

“You say that now, but just wait until you have to kiss everyone’s favorite creepy uncle.”

Pouting, Rufus plops back down next to Jiya and crosses his arms in front of his chest in defiance.

“Ok, so are we ready? I can spin first to get the ball rolling.” Jessica says.

“Hold on.” Garcia says, removing his shoes and socks.

“Getting ahead of the game? Sure… sure. I like a team player.” Jessica says trying not to laugh at the looks on everyone’s faces.

Garcia looks the most ready to get this party started. Lucy looks like she hopes she’s wearing enough layers of clothing so she doesn’t have to get naked for refusing to kiss anyone. Wyatt takes a small bottle of breath freshner and sprays it into his mouth. Jiya is bouncing nervously where she sits. And Rufus, well… we already know how he feels about this.

Jessica spins the empty Kovrov vodka bottle and it spins and spins.

Garcia cracks his neck ready to show the ladies and gents of the bunker how kissing is done in Croatia. Lucy twiddles her thumbs in nervous anticipation. Rufus wishes that Connor were here because at least then he’d have one more sane person on his side to fight this, but no-ooooooooooo Connor was hired to babysit Denise’s kids this evening. Wyatt is licking his lips and staring at Lucy, and Jiya is hoping that the bottle lands on her.

Spin! Spin! Spin! Spin… Spin………. The bottle stops, pointing at… Rufus!

Jessica crawls across the floor to Rufus.

“You planned this, didn’t you?” He asks. “You want to torture me and-”

Jessica places a little kiss on Rufus’s lips, pulls back and rubs the top of his head.

“See. It doesn’t hurt.” Jess winks at him.

“If I refuse to spin the bottle next does that mean the game is over?” Rufus asks in all seriousness.

“No.” Garcia answers.

Rufus mumbles something to himself and spins the bottle.

“I feel like I should be drunk doing this.” Rufus says as the bottle spins and lands on Lucy. He nervously looks at Wyatt and then Garcia. He knows both of those men – even though one of them is currently married and no longer a widower – are in love with her. “I don’t know, guys…”

Lucy rolls her eyes. If Rufus isn’t going to come to her, she’ll go to him. She crawls across the floor and kneels in front of Rufus. He leans forward and pecks her on the cheek.

“NO!” Wyatt shouts! “Jess started the game with a kiss on the lips, you can’t regress it back to a peck on the cheek!”

“Wait… are we playing escalating strip spin the bottle?” Jessica asks for clarification. She really doesn’t think they should. When you play escalating spin the bottle the first bottle spinner sets the pace. For example, she kissed Rufus briefly on the lips. So with the escalating game he technically can’t do anything more innocent than a kiss on the lips. However, if he were to kiss with tongue, the next spinner couldn’t do anything more innocent than tongue. The same applies once groping comes into play. Jess shakes her head… one of her best friends in high school played the game in this manner and wound up getting pregnant after the game escalated so considerably that she and her kiss recipient went off and got a room to get it on.

“I can’t kiss Lucy on the lips!” Rufus shouts back at Wyatt. “She’s my friend!”

“Yeah, but this is strip spin the bottle. Kissing is involved.” Wyatt counters.

“I kissed her.” Rufus argues back.

Not wanting to hear Wyatt argue anymore, Lucy spins the bottle.

“You gave her a peck on the cheek, Rufus. That hardly counts as a kiss.” Wyatt says, sounding disgusted with his friend.

The bottle spins and spins, finally stopping on Jiya.

Lucy and Jiya make eye contact and Lucy crawls over to her and knows exactly how to shut them up. She holds Jiya behind her neck and pulls her into a kiss. And not just your friendly peck on the lips, oh no… Lucy closes her eyes and opens her mouth to Jiya and gives her a deep, long, satisfying kiss. Their tongues intertwine. And as the kiss continues and Jiya wraps her arm around Lucy’s neck, the room gets quieter and quieter.

“Jiya… sweetie, honey, baby…” Rufus squeaks.

Lucy and Jiya part, both women grinning from ear to ear. Jiya’s jaw is slack open. That was one Hell of a kiss. Lucy crawls back to where she was sitting and wets her lips.

“So… are we escalating?” Wyatt’s voice cracks and he squirms where he sits in an attempt to conceal his erection which no one could notice anyway.

“I don’t see why not.” Garcia says. “If we are allowed to do whatever kiss we want I don’t think anyone is going to be losing any clothes and there’s no risk involved.”

Jess nods her head, the man has a point.

“Escalating strip spin the bottle without having to get a room.” Jessica sets the rules.

“Oh Hell, no!” Rufus can’t believe that Garcia Flynn is playing a part in this.

“Ok, just to be clear… whoever the bottle stops on for me I have to French kiss them and can’t regress back to just a peck on the lips? And if I want, I can do some groping?” Jiya asks.

“That is correct.” Jess confirms.

Jiya shrugs her shoulders and spins the Kovrov bottle and a part of her hopes it lands on Lucy again. The bottle spins and spins, and stops on… Wyatt.

“Ok, Jiya… come and give it to me.” He says, confident that he’s the best kisser here.

Jiya’s eyes are wide and she shrugs her shoulders and pulls at the base of her shirt and strips it off her body, throwing it behind her on the floor.

“Sorry, Logan, I’m not Frenching you.”

Wyatt’s ego is bruised, but that doesn’t mean he can’t gawk at Jiya’s breasts, snugly fit into her yellow bra. Jessica whacks her husband on the arm and points at the bottle. It’s his turn to spin.

Spin! Spin! Spin! Spin……. Spin…………………… and the lucky winner of Wyatt’s bottle spin is….

Garcia Flynn!

Inspired by Lucy giving tongue to Jiya, and not wanting to look like a dick, Wyatt crawls toward Garcia. He kneels in front of him, closes his eyes and puckers his lips. Garcia leans back and holds his hand out.

“No, thank you, Wyatt. I’d rather remove all my clothes right now than kiss you.” Garcia says as he lifts his shirt up over his head and carefully places it next to him on the floor.

“I hope I get to kiss somebody tonight.” Wyatt says, disappointed. Fact is… as much as he hates Garcia Flynn… he has quite the man crush on him.

Garcia is on all fours as he reaches out and spins the bottle. It lands on Jiya and her heart flutters. Ok, ok… she knows that she’s involved with Rufus, but she’d be lying if she said that she didn’t find Garcia attractive. Plus… if somehow Lucy doesn’t get to kiss him tonight at least she’ll be able to relay to her whether or not he’s a good kisser.

Garcia stands up and goes to Jiya (crawling on this concrete floor is hard on his knees).

“Are you ok if I kiss you?” He asks, not wanting to assume that though they’re playing a kissing game that his kiss is wanted.

Jiya nods her head and Garcia holds the back of her head and leans in and places his lips on hers.

Across the way, Lucy watches as Garcia – her Garcia! she could cry – kisses Jiya. Their kiss, from what she can see is slow and gentle, everything she imagined his kiss would be. Lucy’s heart is pounding in her chest and she licks her bottom lip. Her eyes scan her circle of friends. Rufus looks like he’s about to jump up and pull them apart. Wyatt is squirming where he sits, his hands in his lap. Jess is clapping and cheering them on, shouting at Garcia to grope Jiya’s chest (he doesn’t). Lucy opens her mouth to tell them to stop, but stops herself because she doesn’t want to look like she’s jealous.

Eventually, and a little longer than Lucy and Rufus wanted, Garcia and Jiya part. Jiya’s mouth is open and she looks like she just got fucked from here to the moon and back. She leans over to glance at Lucy and gives her two thumbs up.

“Lucy, you have to kiss this guy!” Jiya shouts to her.

Lucy’s face goes beet red as Garcia sits back down next to her. Neither one of them can look at the other. They just watch as Jiya spins the bottle.

RUFUS!!!

“I’m supposed to kiss my girlfriend after Flynn had his tongue in her mouth?!” Rufus blurts out. “I… I don’t know…”

“C’mon, Ruru…” Jiya begs him. “If you don’t, you have to lose an article of clothing.”

Rufus looks over at Garcia and back to Jiya.

“I love you, Jiji, but…” He takes off his shirt. “I can’t kiss you until after you gargle mouthwash, brush your teeth, gargle mouthwash and brush your teeth again.” He sets his shirt down on the floor hard as if making a point that he hates this game. Jiya gives him a little kiss on the top of his head and understands. Rufus spins the bottle again and it lands on Jessica.

“Nope.” He says. “In protest of this game which I’m being made to take part, I will hereby reject all kisses.” He stands up and takes off his jeans, standing proudly before his friends in his white and blue pinstripe boxer shorts.

Jessica laughs as she spins the bottle.

The girl’s got luck! It stops on Garcia. She looks at Lucy sympathetically and goes to Garcia and wraps her arms around his neck and goes to town.

Rufus leans toward Wyatt, “You just gonna let your wife kiss a terrorist like that?”

Wyatt shrugs his shoulders. He’s just getting more and more pissed off that no one has kissed him yet.

Jessica and Garcia are enjoying a deep, wet, and passionate kiss right next to Lucy. Garcia loses his balance as Jessica crawls into his lap, and his arm brushes against Lucy. She watches in horror as Jessica takes hold of Garcia’s hand and places it on her breast. He quickly pulls away from the kiss and removes his hand from her body. He shoots a look to Lucy as if apologizing to her.

“Ok, bitches! Escalation!” Jessica exclaims as she punches her fist into the air. “Here on out, ya gotta grope the boobs!”

Jessica returns to her spot on the floor next to her husband, she smiles at him.

Garcia leans to Lucy and whispers, “I wouldn’t have touched her like that without her taking my han-”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, you looked like you were enjoying the kiss anyway. Good for you.” Lucy is quick to say, looking away from him. She hates how jealous she feels right now. She leans forward and grabs the bottle and shoves it at Garcia.

He spins it to keep the game going, but he’s sensing that some members of the crew aren’t having fun with the game anymore. The bottle spins and lands on Wyatt, who rubs his hands together in anticipation.

“Sorry, buddy. I’m not kissing you, nor will I ever grope your boob.” Garcia says, standing up and stripping out of his jeans. He’s down to only one article of clothing before full nudity… his black boxer briefs. They’re snug in all the right places and highlight his large endowment.

Everyone notices Lucy staring at him as he stands next to her.

Jess nudges her to let her know that she’s staring.

Wyatt angrily spins the bottle and it lands on himself, so he spins it again. Himself. He spins again, himself. Himself, himself, himself!

“Goddammit!” He yells, pissed off.

He spins it with obsessed determination and it spins and spins and finally lands on Lucy. He looks at her, his eyes begging her to let him kiss her and grope her breasts. Lucy looks to Garcia, he swallows hard. She tilts her head, gives it some thought and then agrees, nodding her head to Wyatt.

In the blink of an eye, his tongue is in her mouth and his hand is squeezing her breast really hard. So hard that it hurts. She pulls back and slaps him hard across the face.

“Luce?” He’s confused as to why his participation in this game was met with such hostility.

Lucy shakes her head at him and he crawls back to where he was seated. She spins the bottle… it spins and spins and her heart sinks as it slows and seems to want to stop on Wyatt, but Jess does her a favor and “accidentally” taps it so that it spins a little longer. It stops on Garcia.

Lucy’s eyes are wide and her heart is in her throat.

She can’t breathe.

She turns to face Garcia. His eyes are soft almost as if he too has wanted to kiss her just as much as she wants to kiss him.

“Get it, girl!” Jiya cheers her friend on from across the circle.

Lucy gazes down at Garcia’s lips and leans toward him… placing her hand hesitantly on the back of his neck. His hand rests on her shoulder. He looks up into her eyes, wanting her permission to touch her as the rules of the game require them to do. Lucy parts her lips and shakes her head.

“No.” She backs away from Garcia. “I can’t.”

Garcia watches as she removes a sock and sets it between them. She pulls her knees against her chest and wraps her arms around them. He understands and nods his head. He takes the bottle and spins it.

The room has fallen silent as the bottle scratches the concrete floor as it spins.

It falls on Lucy.

He looks at her. She avoids his gaze. He touches her arm gently.

“Lucy…” He whispers her name.

“No.” She whispers back to him, shaking her head.

He runs the back of his fingers across her arm and looks down at her sock on the floor.

“Flynn…” Jessica starts, but stops when Garcia holds his hand out to her, not taking his eyes off of Lucy.

He reaches out and touches the side of her face.

“I’m not going to kiss you, Lucy. Not if you don’t want it.” He says quietly.

Lucy stands up and without a word, she leaves the room, making her way to Garcia’s room where she’s been spending most nights.

“I knew this game was a bad idea.” Rufus says. “Now before anyone else gets upset… can we play a board game that requires we keep our clothes on and our tongues to ourselves?”

Wyatt opens his mouth to object, but stops as everyone agrees with Rufus. They stand up and gather any clothes they lost while playing spin the bottle. Rufus disappears and comes back with Candyland in hand. He looks happy and very glad that he won this fight.

Garcia looks toward his room where Lucy is. Jessica touches Garcia on the arm.

“Hey.” She says. “Look… I’m sorry that I escalated the game with you. I thought that she’d be ok kissing you and with the touching. I didn’t mean to make this awkward.”

“It’s ok. She’s been sleeping in my room the last few nights, I’ll talk to her and make sure she’s ok.”

Jess nods her head.

“I’d give her some space right now.” She says. “I don’t know if you know, but she likes you.”

“Yeah… I know.”

\-----

Lucy has changed into her favorite sweatpants and exchanged her layers of shirts for her favorite Garcia Flynn long-sleeve shirt. The lights are off in his room and she lies in his bed, listening to her bunkmates laughing and enjoying themselves out in the common area of the bunker.

She feels guilty for the way she reacted to her bottle spin landing on Garcia. But after the way Wyatt kissed her. She rolls onto her side and feels sick. She shouldn’t have tried to use him to see if Garcia would be as jealous as she was when he kissed Jessica.

She hears the door to the room open and quietly close.

“Lucy? Are you awake?” Garcia whispers.

She doesn’t have the energy to fake sleep or lie to him.

“I’m awake.”

She feels him sit down on the edge of his bed.

“I’m sorry.” He says.

Lucy sits up and faces him, bringing her knees to her chest.

“You don’t need to apologize, Flynn. Nothing happened, it was me… I couldn’t handle the game and I left. No big deal.”

“I think it’s more than that, and I think it’s more than how Wyatt kissed you too.”

“What do you mean?”

She knows exactly what he means. She lives with it inside her head every single day.

“I mean… you… me…” He takes hold her hand and kisses her knuckles.

“I didn’t want any first kiss between us to happen in front of everyone.” Lucy tells him, feeling weight lift off her shoulders. “I mean… not that there’s anything going on between us where that could happen, but…” She leans toward him, and the thought crosses her mind to kiss him. She gazes at his lips, wetting her own in anticipation.

She raises her head and looks at him. Their eyes lock. His grip on her hand tightens as she inches closer and closer to him. They’re now hip-to-hip, she presses her shoulder against his arm and tilts her head back and parts her lips. He holds the back of her neck and with his other hand, presses her hand against his chest and she can feel his heart beating. She rubs her nose against his as he lowers his head. She can feel his breath on her lips. Their eyes close and she feels his lips touch hers and…

HRRRRRNNNNGGGG! HRRRRRRNNNNNGGGG!

The Mothership alarm sounds.

Garcia rests his forehead against hers and chuckles softly. Of course, Rittenhouse would pick right now to make a jump in time. He brings Lucy’s hand to his lips again as the door to his room opens. Jiya pokes her head in.

“Guys. You know I hate to interrupt, but they jumped to Germany, September fourth, 1972.”

Garcia lets go of Lucy’s hand and turns on the lamp on his nightstand. He knows that date, “That’s the day before the Munich Massacre during the Olympics.”

He and Jiya watch as Lucy walks between them without a word. Jiya mouths off, “I’m sorry.”

Garcia nods his head and the two of them go join the team to figure out who will go on this mission and who will stay behind. And he’ll fight tooth and nail to force Wyatt to sit this one out. Lucy doesn’t need his condescending attitude towards her right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops. A touch of angst in that one. I couldn't help myself. Sorry! The next one will go back to this series' norm (hopefully y'all didn't mind the angsty part).


	5. Girls Night In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's "girls night in" at the bunker, a sleepover to be exact. And i'ts not like the guys can leave since that goes against the rules of needing to live in the bunker in the first place.

Denise sighs heavily as Jessica places the final curler in her hair. She can’t believe that she agreed to attending a “girls only” sleepover in the bunker. But these are her girls and though she can go home to her family every night, she knows she needs to spend more time getting to know her team.

Jessica places her hands on Denise’s shoulders and the two women look into the bathroom mirror. Denise has pink curlers all over her head and is wearing a fluffy lavender bathrobe. Jessica is wearing her husband’s favorite blue flannel shirt, and has only a couple buttons buttoned to keep it from opening on her bare chest.

“I don’t know, Jessica… even when the perm was popular, I kept my hair straight.” Denise says.

“This isn’t a perm, Denise. You’ll keep the curlers in overnight and in the morning, you’ll have a gorgeous head full of curls.” Jessica smiles. “Trust me, you’ll look gorgeous.”

“Couldn’t you experiment on Lucy or Jiya?” Denise asks.

“I could have, but I’ve never seen your hair in another other style since I moved in to this bunker, and you’re my victim tonight.” Jessica takes Denise’s hand in hers and leads her out of the bathroom. The smell of buttered popcorn is in the air.

Lucy and Jiya are sitting cross-legged on the old 1950s Kem Weber sofa, facing each other. Lucy is applying pink blush to Jiya’s cheeks. Lucy’s hair is pulled up off her shoulders in a messy bun. She wears no makeup and is wearing grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt. Jiya is in her favorite yellow pajama pants and a black camisole.

“Hey girls!” Jessica says as she and Denise sit down on the burnt orange cushions of the old Kem Weber loveseat.

“Denise!” Jiya exclaims. “You look so cute with the curlers in your hair!”

Denise tries not to smile as she waves off the compliment. “Oh, you’re just saying that, Jiya.”

Lucy stands up and heads to the kitchen as the microwave beeps, she pours the bag of popcorn into a large bowl and kneels down on the floor next to the coffee table. Jessica takes a handful of popcorn and shoves it in her mouth.

“Ok, so we have a few options here since Denise was kind enough to bring us some new movies.” Lucy says, collecting a pile of DVDs from the floor. “One of my favorites, Gone With The Wind-” Her hope of watching her favorite movie of the Civil War era tanks as her suggestion is met with moans and groans from her friends. “Ok… um… The Breakfast Club… Alien… A Nightmare On Elm Street… Serendipity…” Lucy looks at her friends, still no positive reaction to any of the movie titles she’s read so far.

“We could play Truth or Dare.” Jiya suggests, sticking her hand into the bowl of popcorn.

Lucy bites her lower lip, not entirely sure she wants to play another “coming of age” game after the disastrous night a couple weeks ago of Strip Spin The Bottle.

“That could be fun.” Jessica chimes in. “Would really help us get to know Denise better, don’t ya think?” Jess playfully nudges Denise on the arm.

“I don’t think that Denise would like Truth or Dare.” Lucy says.

“Girls… there wasn’t a dare I wouldn’t take back in the day. If you want to play Truth or Dare, I’m in.” Denise corrects her.

_Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck_… Lucy thinks to herself, but then figures that if she’s asked anything she’s uncomfortable telling them that she can try to lie. Lucy glances at Jessica. In the few months that Jess has been in the bunker she has learned one thing about the woman… she can smell bullshit from a mile away. Jessica catches her eye and tilts her head as if asking Lucy why she’s looking at her.

“I’ll start.” Jiya says excitedly. “Denise… truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“I thought you said you take all the dares!” Jiya exclaims, only slightly disappointed. “Ok, ok… um… what is something that people think about you that isn’t true?”

“That I’m a bore.” Denise smiles. “For example, you all know Michelle and I do date night each Wednesday night, right?”

“Yeah.” Jiya nods her head.

“But did you know that once a month we go play laser tag?”

“You do not!” Jiya giggles.

Not wanting to get called on next, Lucy stands up and puts _Gone With The Wind_ into the DVD player, then heads to the kitchen to rummage through the fridge as the film’s Overture plays. Jessica watches her and decides to let Jiya and Denise go back and forth for awhile with their game of Truth or Dare.

“You ok, Lucy?” Jessica asks as Lucy sits down at one of the tables with a bottle of beer. Jessica sits down across from her.

“I’m fine.” Lucy lies. “No, the better word is annoyed. I’m annoyed.”

“Maybe girls night in should have been a girls night out, huh?” Jessica says.

Lucy smiles and sips from her beer. She nods her head in agreement.

“The lack of sunlight and fresh air doesn’t help either.” Jessica says as she stands up and gets herself a bottle of beer. She pops it open and chugs down half the bottle while leaning against the fridge door. Laughter erupts from the loveseat. Jessica and Lucy look over at Denise and Jiya who are leaning on each other in a fit of giggles. Jessica sits back down at the table.

“I know we agreed not to talk about the guys, but… you need to talk?” Jessica asks.

Lucy shakes her head and tips back her bottle of beer. She wipes her mouth. “Am I that obvious?”

“Yeah, you kinda are.” Jessica says, smiling to try to make Lucy feel comfortable.

“Flynn and I almost kissed, you know.” Lucy says. “The night we played spin the bottle, but the alarm stopped us. Ever since then things have been… awkward.”

“Men are stupid like that. Back in high school, before Wyatt and I hooked up. We got drunk at a party and flirted as if the world were going to end. The next few weeks the moron ignored me. Didn’t talk to me, didn’t look at me, stopped watching my tennis practices.” Jessica shakes her head. “It was only when I started hanging out with another guy that he came around. Jealousy is a huge motivator for him.”

Lucy nods her head. She’s noticed.

“Look, Jess…” Lucy sets down her beer bottle and leans forward. “… I’m sorry that… that Wyatt and I have a history. It happened when you were dead, I knew that with time travel that I shouldn’t have let it go as far as it did, but he seemed to be moving on and one thing led to another, and-”

“I get it, Lucy. And you don’t need to apologize. If anyone should be apologizing it’s my dumb husband. In our thirteen years of marriage, that boy has stepped out on me more times than I care to count. And I don’t mean this in a bad way, but Lucy… to him, you’re nothing special.”

“Yeah… I figured that one out for myself.”

“It’s ridiculous how he thinks that I haven’t noticed he still hits on you, and… sometimes I think he’s got a thing for Flynn too.”

“You noticed that too?” Lucy’s eyes light up.

“Wanna go spy on the guys to see if Wyatt is fawning over him?” Jess asks.

Lucy raises her brow. She throws back her beer and finishes it, stands up and slams it on the table.

“Yes. Let’s go spy.”

\-----

Lucy and Jessica hang onto each other as they tip-toe down the hallway trying not to giggle. They are following the sound of Wyatt’s voice as he boasts about one time he went skydiving in his tighty-whities. The girls stop just short of Wyatt and Jessica’s room, the door is cracked open just enough that they can peer in without having to push it any further open.

Rufus and Garcia are sitting on the floor with their backs up against the wall. They’re looking up at Wyatt who stands on the bed as he describes his risqué skydiving adventure. Connor, having been ousted from his own room due to its close proximity to the common area where “girls night in” sleepover is taking place, sits in a chair in the corner of the room.

Lucy and Jessica creep closer to the door for a better view of the guys. Lucy has to quick cover her mouth to muffle laughter as Wyatt is pointing in the most dramatic fashion, at his dick. Yes, he’s still fully clothed.

“And as I’m free-falling from the plane my balls are shrinking up into my body. It was the weirdest sensation, one that I would do again if given the chance.” Wyatt says, crossing his arms across his chest and gazing down at Rufus and Garcia.

“Do you… want…” Garcia winces, “… small balls?”

Wyatt hops off the bed and sits down on the floor across from Garcia.

“Small dick, smaller balls… helps the dick look bigger.”

“Are you admitting that you have a small dick?” Garcia’s face scrunches.

Out in the hallway, Lucy and Jessica share a look, nodding their heads. Yes, yes, he does have a relatively small dick. They peer back into the room again and watch as Connor stands up.

“Isn’t it American tradition when guys are ousted by the women, to participate in a measuring contest?” Connor asks as a suggestion for how they could pass the time.

Wyatt struggles to stand up and ends up falling into Garcia’s lap. As if giving up, he sits there and stares up at Connor who is now the only man standing. Garcia pushes at Wyatt’s back to try to get him out of his lap.

“Wyatt, you’re not a five-year-old, get out of my damn lap.” He growls.

Wyatt looks behind him at Garcia and touches his face _endearingly_ (??). Lucy and Jessica have to throw themselves back up against the wall and snort back laughter.

“See…” Jessica whispers. “I told you Wyatt has a thing for Flynn.”

Lucy keeps both hands covered over her mouth and shakes her head “no,” in disbelief, but she can’t really not believe it because Wyatt is currently sitting in Garcia’s lap and caressing his face. Their eyes go wide as they hear Connor announce that he’ll go find them a measuring tape. Lucy turns around and pushes Jessica down the hallway. They run as fast as they can into the bathroom and shut the door, pressing their backs against the door.

They take a moment to compose themselves and catch their breath. But the moment Lucy turns to look at Jessica they burst out into laughter.

“Oh my God!” Jessica squeals.

“I don’t know what disturbs me most!” Lucy squeals back.

“My husband sitting in Flynn’s lap and caressing!” Jessica howls.

Lucy laughs hard and ends up in tears thinking about the look on Garcia’s face as Wyatt caressed his jawline.

“I can’t even!” Lucy exclaims. “And then Connor going to get a measuring tape!” Lucy shouts a little too loudly. “Ok, ok… guesses as to who’s packing the largest.”

“Connor. My money is on Connor. That man seemed too confident and eager to do this measuring contest. Only a man with a ginormous dick would want-” Jessica snorts and lowers herself down the door, laughing.

“This isn’t my bias or anything, but my money is on Flynn.” Lucy takes a deep breath to calm herself. “He’s so tall and has a large body, I can’t imagine that his…” Lucy tilts her head instead of saying the word _dick_, “… matches his body mass.”

\-----

Connor Mason makes his way down the hallway. He hears giggling coming from the bathroom and shrugs it off as girls doing sleepover girl things and continues making his way toward the kitchen. He steps into the common area and sees Denise doing a handstand up against the wall next to the television. Jiya is applauding her from the loveseat. He’s unnoticed by the two women.

He opens up the junk drawer next to the sink and rifles around looking for the measuring tape.

“Jiya… truth or dare.”

“Truth!” Jiya claps her hands in excitement.

Denise sits down next to Jiya on the loveseat and holds her hands in hers, then asks, “What do you think are the sexiest attributes of everyone here in the bunker?”

“Oooh, that’s a good one.” Jiya says. “Ok, let’s see… the back of Rufus’s neck… I know this is weird, but the sexiest thing about Flynn is how he treats Lucy. Jessica’s arms. Ok? Her arms are to die for and I find myself staring at her arms, oh and her chest. She has an amazing chest, you know?”

“Believe me, I know.” Denise says with a wink.

Connor looks behind his shoulder and smiles. Humored that he’s still unnoticed and learning what exactly goes into a girls only sleepover. He finds the measuring tape, glances one last time at Jiya and Denise and heads back toward Wyatt’s room.

“Connor’s accent is hot as!” Jiya exclaims.

Connor pauses and smiles. The ladies do love his accent.

Garcia rushes out of Wyatt’s room and nearly runs into Connor.

“Leaving the party so soon?” Connor asks him.

“Little boys room.” Garcia says and continues down the hall toward the bathroom.

\-----

Lucy stands in front of the bathroom mirror as Jessica stands behind her, brushing her hair.

“I had been sleeping in his room for awhile up until our almost kiss and after that… I don’t know… but it’s like almost kissing him pushed us away from each other.” Lucy says.

“Babe, you need to sneak into his room and crawl into bed with him. I assure you that he’s just being an idiot and doesn’t know what to do because men suck with things like feelings and doing something about them.” Jessica runs the brush through Lucy’s hair again. “I can guarantee when he wakes up with you next to him that he’ll be back to his soft buttery self-”

“Ladies?” Garcia interrupts them having heard most of what Jessica said to Lucy.

Jessica looks back at Garcia and Lucy looks at him through the reflection in the mirror.

“Oh hey, Flynn!” Jessica says casually.

“Mind giving me some privacy for a minute?” He says.

“Not at all.” Jessica responds and sets the hairbrush down on the sink next to Lucy. She places her hand on Lucy’s shoulder before rushing out of the bathroom, slamming the door REALLY EXTRA DAMN HARD behind her since they’ve discovered if the door is slammed that it tends to get stuck and is difficult to open.

Lucy spins around and looks at the door and runs to it. She tugs and it doesn’t open.

“Dammit! Jess!” Lucy pounds her hand on the door. “Jessica!”

Garcia stands at her side and tugs on the door too.

It doesn’t budge.

Garcia takes a breath. Thankfully, he doesn’t have to pee too badly… yet.

He yanks at the door again, and again and again. In frustration he pounds his fist against it. He looks at Lucy. She doesn’t look at him.

“Lucy…”

“How’ve you been?” She asks. “We haven’t talked in a while, not since we got back from Munich.”

Garcia inhales and closes his eyes. He knows he’s been a jerk about their friendship since their almost kiss. He knows that Lucy tried to talk to him about it when they got back from Munich, but he pushed her away. He needs to remedy this before it has gone on for too long and ruins everything.

“Connor and Wyatt want to have a penis measuring contest.” He says.

Lucy bites down on her lower lip and tries not to laugh.

She fails.

“Something tells me that Wyatt’s gonna finish last and still manage to be arrogant about it.” Garcia continues.

Lucy laughs a little harder.

“He even… he whipped it out already, Lucy and…” He shakes his head. “I don’t know how that thing can pleasure anyone.”

“He whipped it out?”

“Yeah, right in my face.” He grimaces. “I had to excuse myself from the room.”

“Do you need to use the urinal?” Lucy asks, pointing in the direction of the urinals against the back wall. “Because if you do, I can plug my ears and close my eyes.”

“I can hold it.” He smiles at her. “I’m pretty sure with a bit more umph that I’ll be able to get the door open.”

Garcia turns around and tugs at the bathroom door again.

\-----

Jessica runs into the common area and slides to a stop just behind the couch. She crawls over it and plops down on its cushions. Denise and Jiya are crying and hugging each other on the loveseat. Jessica looks around as if some unknown entity can explain it to her. Of course, nothing is there.

_Gone With The Wind _continues to play on the TV. Jessica leans forward and picks up the bowl of popcorn and places it in her lap. She smiles to herself for locking Lucy and Garcia in the bathroom together. She knows she was telling Lucy to sneak into his bedroom as he sleeps, but it’s funnier to know that they’re locked in the bathroom while he has to pee. She hears more pounding on the bathroom door and laughs.

Jiya hears her and looks in her direction, pulling out of Denise’s embrace and wiping tears from her face.

“Hey, Jess…” Jiya says. “Where’s Lucy?”

“In the bathroom.” Jessica says without giving the details. “You two ok?”

“We’re good.” Denise answers, fixing one of the pink curlers in her hair. “Just needed to cry some things out.” She pats Jiya on the leg.

Jiya slides off the loveseat to sit on the floor, she takes her phone from the coffee table.

“Once Lucy gets back, we should take a picture of all four of us girls.” Jiya suggests.

“Not sure she’ll be joining us anytime soon.” Jessica says, shoving a handful of popcorn into her mouth.

“Why’s that?” Denise asks. “She didn’t bail on us and go off to sleep somewhere else, did she?”

“No. I jammed the bathroom door on her and Flynn. They’re stuck in the bathroom together.” Jessica says with her mouth full of popcorn.

Loudly, from down the hall. They hear the guys shouting and making some kind of ruckus. They hear Rufus shout “I’ve had enough! Goodnight, you freaks!” and then they hear one of the bunk door slam shut. The sound of his bare feet splatting angrily down the hallway, followed by a “DAMMIT!” All’s quiet for a beat. And then Rufus exclaims, “SHE DID WHAT?!”

Jiya looks at Jessica, “Busted…”

Jessica shrugs her shoulders. She has no regrets about locking Lucy in the bathroom with Garcia.

Rufus stomps into the common area.

“Jessica!” He shouts. “You locked Flynn and Lucy in the bathroom?!”

“Yeah, so?” She says, turning around on the couch to look at him.

“I have to pee!”

“Hold it?” Jessica suggests.

“Hold it?!” He pauses and looks at Jiya for help. “I’ve been holding it. I’ve been holding it so long that I almost won the competition on who could hold their pee the longest! My. bladder. is. about. to. burst.”

“Looks like you’ll have to hold it a bit longer then.” Jess responds with a shrug of her shoulders. “You all will. Well… except for Flynn if he can manage peeing in front of Lucy.” Jessica chuckles.

\-----

Meanwhile, in the bathroom…

Garcia stands awkwardly in front of the door as he listens to Lucy urinating in one of the stalls.

He.

Really.

Really, really, really.

Has.

To.

Pee.

But he really doesn’t want to piss in front of Lucy, yet here she is – behind a stall at least – peeing with him in the room.

“Crap!” Lucy exclaims from behind the closed stall door. “Flynn… could you hand me a new roll of toilet paper?”

He blinks and looks around the bathroom. A fresh roll of toilet paper is on the shelf next to the door. He takes it and walks over to the stall door.

“Should I throw it over and hand it under?” He asks.

“Under.”

He does as she says and she takes it from his hand. He leans his back against the frame of the stall.

“Look… Lucy… I uh… I’m sorry I’ve been distant with you. I didn’t mean to, I just… started overthinking things and… I was stupid to push you away.”

He hears the sound of her panties elastic band snap against her skin and then the toilet flushes. The stall opens and she’s gazing up into his eyes and his heart flutters.

“I thought I had done something wrong, you know.” Lucy says and walks over to wash her hands in the sink. “But I think we’re capable of putting it behind us and…” Lucy closes her eyes and inhales, “… just being friends.”

_I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself. Lucy, you are stupid, stupid, stupid!_ She screams at herself in her head.

“Just friends?” Garcia slowly nods his head accepting her terms even though he had hoped that things were headed in a different direction.

There’s a loud BANG on the bathroom door that startles them both. Then another BANG and another BANG BANG BANG!

“DON’T WORRY, GUYS!” Rufus shouts. “I’m gonna get you out of there!”

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

“I’VE GOTTA PEE SO BAD!”

Garcia takes hold of Lucy’s arm and pulls her away from the door.

“Maybe we should stand back.” He tells her.

“What’s he hitting the door with?”

“Sounds like a chair or…”

And now the residents of the bunker have a new bathroom door problem.

The door falls off its hinges onto the floor with a loud CLANG! Lucy and Garcia stare out the door and see Rufus standing there with a crazed expression on his face, he’s holding the bench press bar in his hand. He drops it on the floor and pushes past Lucy and Garcia. Not caring that they, and that everyone else is gathering at the bathroom door, he drops his pants and starts peeing into the urinal.

Lucy smiles up at Garcia and exits the bathroom. She sees Jessica coming down the hallway.

“You!” Lucy points her finger at Jess.

Jessica turns on her heel and heads back the other way. Lucy runs after her and before they know it they are chasing each other around a table in the kitchen area.

“You locked me in the bathroom with him!” Lucy shouts.

“There’s no lock on the bathroom door, Lucy!” Jessica laughs as they run in a circle around the table. “I have no idea what you’re talking about!”

Wyatt rounds the corner and watches his wife and Lucy chasing after each other in their pajamas. He gets a thoughtful look on his face and it looks like he pulled a muscle thinking. He disappears and returns a few minutes later with his arms full of down feather pillows.

“Luce!” He shouts her name to grab her attention.

Lucy spins around and he throws one of the pillows at her, whacking her in the face. Lucy looks at the pillow and then looks at Jessica and throws it at her. She turns back to Wyatt with her arms open.

“Toss me another one, Wyatt!”

He does and Lucy catches it and then she and Jessica proceed to engage in quite a rough pillow fight. It only takes a few hits before down feathers are floating in the air. Wyatt looks at the last feather pillow in his arms and decides it would be hot to join them. He approaches the two women unnoticed. They are hitting each other hard with the pillows. Jessica topples over the back of the couch and Lucy runs around and straddles her on the couch, whacking Jessica in the face with the soft pillow.

Wyatt walks up behind Lucy and hits her back with his pillow. She doesn’t notice as Jessica uses her legs to push Lucy onto the floor. Jessica straddles her, gaining the upper hand.

“Hey… guys…” Wyatt whines. “Let me play.”

Jessica turns around and glares at her husband.

“Go back to your teeny winky measuring contest, Wyatt.” She smirks. “This is a girls only sleepover and you’re not welcome.” Jessica hits Wyatt with her pillow to shoo him away.

Dejected and feeling the need for the company of women who have allowed him to sleep with them… he walks away. He shuffles past Jiya and Denise as they return to the sleepover, and he hands Jiya his pillow without explanation. He hopes that Garcia sees that his feelings have been hurt and goes easy on him for the rest of the night. It would be nice to sit next to the big guy and rest his head on his shoulder and lament of his woes and his hurt feelings all night until he falls asleep.

Pathetically, Wyatt glances over his shoulder then hangs his head low, wishing that he would be invited to a girls only sleepover.


	6. Boys Night In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That "girls night in" sleepover isn't done yet!

Rufus pulls his pants back up. He’s just finished relieving himself at the urinal. He turns around and sees the moronic faces of several of his bunker friends staring in at him in the bathroom. Sure, ok, whatever. What are they a bunch of pervs? Getting off watching a man piss?

“Hope you enjoyed the show.” He says as he squeezes in between Garcia and Denise. He takes a double look at Denise. “Nice curlers. Jiya giving you a makeover?”

“No. Jessica convinced me to try something new.” Denise explains.

Everyone scatters off to wherever they came from except Garcia. He looks down at the floor where the bathroom door fell when Rufus knocked it down with the bench press bar, which is also situated on the floor. He sighs. He knows that everyone around here looks at Connor as “bunker dad,” but considering how many times he’s had to fix things for this group of people, he, Garcia Flynn, feels like the dad. Sorry, the creepy uncle.

He bends down and lifts the door up off the ground.

He hears a whistle behind him as someone likes what they see, checking him out. He turns around, door in hand, and sees Wyatt. He rolls his eyes.

“You’re probably not here to help me get this door back on its hinges, are you?” Garcia asks, knowing the answer. “Hope you don’t need to use the toilet. With the door down we’re going to have to come up with some kind of temporary cover for privacy.”

“I wouldn’t mind if you saw my ass as I peed.” Wyatt says in a very serious tone.

“Wyatt…” Garcia shakes his head. “Please… don’t start. I don’t appreciate you pretending to flirt with me or whatever it is you think that you’re doing when you say such asinine things like that.”

Garcia is in no mood to deal with Wyatt right now. After his short, yet brief, discussion with Lucy about their radio silence and her emphasizing that she’s interested in just being friends with him when he really thought there was something going on between them where they would eventually end up being more than just friends.

Garcia’s brow shoots to the heavens when he feels Wyatt’s hand rubbing him on his back.

“There, there… Flynn…” Wyatt coos.

“What are you doing?” Garcia steps away from the shorter man, and the shorter man steps toward him again.

“I’m comforting you.” Wyatt says. “Denise says that we need to work on getting along and since she’s the boss-”

“Don’t touch me. I don’t need you to touch me.” Garcia is uncomfortable.

Connor pokes his head in the door and waves the measuring tape at them.

“Got the tape, boys. We just have to decide if we want to measure flaccid or if we want to try to get… how should I put this… oh hell! Or if we want to measure our erections.” Connor says to them much to Garcia’s horror.

“Erections.” Wyatt says.

“Flaccid is just fine, Connor.” Garcia says loud. “I can’t believe I’m considering doing this.” He shakes his head.

“Hey, if you need any help getting hard…” Wyatt offers to-

“What the Hell is…” Garcia’s face scrunches up as he tries to figure out what the fuck. Instead, he leans the broken bathroom door up against the wall and leaves the bathroom. He picks up his pace to catch up with Connor.

“Mason!” He calls out to him. Connor turns around and smiles at him. “Look, I’m tired. It’s been a long day so I’m just going to retire for the night.”

“Oh.” Connor sounds disappointed. Then his eyes light up. “If you want, I can measure you right now. You don’t want to sit out on this one. I’ve come up with a prize for whoever is deemed to have the largest, err… longest penis in the bunker.”

“A prize?” Garcia is starting to think that this night is one long and very real nightmare. “What’s the prize?”

“A night out on the town for the winner and a guest, on me.”

“And what if you win?”

Connor chuckles, “Since I’m paying for the prize, I’m ineligible. But that doesn’t mean that I’m not participating.” Connor reaches down and starts unzipping his trousers.

“Whoa!” Garcia steps back and uses his hand to shield his eyes as Connor measures himself in the middle of the hallway.

“Four point seventy-five inches, flaccid.” Connor looks up at Garcia, and zips up his pants. He holds out the measuring tape to Garcia. “Your turn. And no backing out. You refuse to do it, I’ll just follow you around until I get the measurement.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Garcia asks, taking the damn measuring tape from his drunk (??) friend. He looks around the hallway and it’s just the two of them so he quickly unzips his pants, notices that Connor’s eyes are set on his penile region, turns his back to the man, and lowers his boxer briefs and measures. “Five point… twenty-five.”

“I figured you’d be larger than average flaccid, you’re such a tall and rather large man.” Connor pats Garcia on the back which is awkward because his pants are still unzipped. “Good on you, Garcia, really. I mean that.”

Garcia zips up his pants and turns around and hands the damn measuring tape back to Connor.

“Goodnight, Connor.”

“Pleasant dreams!” Connor calls out as Garcia walks down the hallway towards his room.

In the bathroom, Wyatt overheard everything. He looks down and pulls out the waistband of his pants in front of him, peering down at his penis.

“Five point twenty-five…? Who knew Flynn was hung like a whale…” Wyatt reaches down into his pants and grips his teeny winky. “I’d be lucky to measure up to three inches!”

Wyatt wishes that he could win the prize so he could take Lucy out for a night on the town, but unless he can manage to measure himself erect, there’s no way he can beat Garcia Flynn, nor Connor for that matter, and shit… he’s checked out Rufus at the urinal before and that man is well-hung as well.

Wyatt peers out into the hallway. To his left he can hear the soft laughter of the girls’ sleepover in the common area, and to his right he hears Rufus arguing with Connor about how he’s not going to measure his dick for some night out on the town. Wyatt decides, for now, not to go get on Garcia’s nerves. Lately, he’s really been pushing all his buttons and if he has any shot at getting closer to him so he has someone to lament to… he needs to play it cool.

\-----

Garcia is asleep in his bed. No, not asleep, his eyes are closed and he’s deep in thought. He went to bed early last night. Privacy is non-existent in this bunker. He could hear everything that the girls talked about as they grew tired and eventually decided to go to sleep. Their conversations ranged from which one of their breasts was smaller than the other to who they think won Connor’s measuring contest.

Apparently, Lucy and Jessica had spied on them earlier that night. He was amused to hear that all four women agreed that while Connor is probably well-packed, that he – Garcia Flynn – must have the largest of them all, based solely on his height and “hot bod’,” as Jiya put it. He couldn’t help but chuckle when Jessica informed her friends that Wyatt is two point seventy-five flaccid, and three and a quarter, erect. And he really didn’t need to know that Lucy could confidently, from experience, confirm (Hell, even he could confirm that fact since Wyatt dangled the little rice grain in front of him last night).

It wasn’t in her journal, but he always suspected that Lucy had… given herself to Wyatt. It wasn’t something that Garcia liked to consider because even from reading about Wyatt in the journal, he knew that Lucy could do better, and deserved better. Even though he’s falling for Lucy, even if she didn’t want to be with him – as evidenced by their conversation in the bathroom last night, she deserves someone who would adore her and not make her doubt herself as Wyatt has done.

Fucking Wyatt. Garcia rolls onto his side and huffs. That boy is really getting on his nerves as of late. And he doesn’t know if Wyatt flirting with him is just Wyatt’s way of intentionally finding ways to get under his skin, or if Wyatt Logan is really having a sexual identity crisis, and if that’s the case he wishes that the man would talk it out with his wife, or a therapist, and not target him as his object of affection.

Garcia hears his bunk door slowly creak open.

His heart jolts in his chest as he remembers overhearing Jessica tell Lucy that she ought to sneak into his room and crawl into bed with him. His heart races, pounding in his chest. He keeps his eyes closed, not wanting to scare Lucy away after she seemed set on them being just friends.

His heart nearly stops as he feels his bed dip as she lays down next to him.

_Holy moly! Holy shit!_ He thinks to himself, squeezing his eyes shut and praying that she wraps her arm around him, and as if she could read his mind. He feels her arm drape over his waist. And he kinda wishes that he had slept in less clothing tonight so he could feel her delicate skin against his own. But no-oooooooo, he just had to slip into a long-sleeve shirt (the one Lucy likes to wear so often) and his sweatpants. Her hand holds onto him, groping at his chest, hanging onto him. He feels her rest her forehead against his back.

He moans to feign starting to wake up just a little bit. He figures that if he pretends that he’s still half asleep that he might be able to face her and pull her body closer into his. He slowly turns around and squints his eyes.

HE SITS UP LIKE HE’S BEEN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING.

“WYATT?!” Garcia shouts. “WHAT THE FUCK?!”

Garcia pushes Wyatt Logan off of his bed and onto the floor. He hops out of bed and shakes his arms as if ridding his body of Wyatt cooties.

“I… I thought you understood that I want to… get along better with you.” Wyatt explains, sounding like his feelings have been hurt by Garcia’s rejection.

“No!” Garcia looks at Wyatt as if he’s looking at a madman who should be wrapped up tight in a straight-jacket!

Wyatt stands up and looks at Garcia. Are there _tears_ in his eyes?

“Flynn… I think you and I need to talk.”

“No. We don’t.” Garcia says, and grabs Wyatt by his shirt and drags his ass toward the door, and out into the hallway.

“I just think that if we cuddled a few times that being in close proximity to each other would-”

Wyatt stops abruptly when he sees that Lucy is standing just outside Garcia’s bunk door, a burgundy blanket wrapped around her shoulders.

Lucy looks from Wyatt to Garcia, and Garcia to Wyatt. She opens her mouth to speak, then says nothing. She shakes her head, holds out her hand, and turns and walks back to the common room. She had been on her way to sneak into Garcia’s room as Jessica suggested, but perhaps now is not a good time. She stops and looks back, shaking her head.

“Cuddle?” She asks, not really knowing what she expects for an answer.

She shakes her head again and decides to go back to sleep on that damn Kem Weber couch.

No.

She turns around and goes back to Garcia and Wyatt. They’re still just standing there regarding her as if they’re deer caught in headlights.

“Ok…” She starts. “Whatever _this_ is… I promise not to tell anyone if you guys promise not to…” She winces, “… _cuddle_ ever again. Deal?”

“Lucy… it isn’t how he makes it sound.” Garcia says.

“I don’t care, and I don’t want to know.” She tells him.

“No, really. Lucy… I was sleeping, and woke up and he had crawled into bed with me.” Garcia lets go of Wyatt’s shirt and steps toward the object of his affection, the woman he’s falling in love with. “I thought he was you.”

“What about Wyatt made you think he was me?!” Lucy is appalled. “His feminine hands? Baby-butt smooth forearm?”

Garcia uses both hands to gesture to the clothes he’s wearing. “I couldn’t feel his skin, Lucy! Look at me!”

Lucy eyes him from head-to-toe. She can tell that he had been in bed for awhile because his typically well-groomed hair is now sporting a cowlick. He hasn’t been sleeping well as evidenced by the dark circles under his eyes. He’s wearing her favorite grey-blue long-sleeve shirt and it’s a cold night so his – she wets her lips – nipples are quite visible. Her eyes lower and sees that he’s wearing his navy-blue sweatpants and things aren’t so snug so she knows that he’s going commando. And his feet are bare. Ok, ok… if Wyatt were cuddling with him, unless Garcia went to caress Wyatt’s arm, he wouldn’t know that it wasn’t her.

“Luce… can you tell Garcia that in order for us to get along that we need to be spending more time together. Cuddles can help.” Wyatt says.

“First off… how many times do I have to tell you not to call me Luce, my name is Lucy, and don’t you dare start with that ma’am crap again.” She says just as he was opening his mouth to tell her _yes, ma’am_. “Second… No, cuddling with Garci-errrmm… Flynn is not going to win you any brownie points so just stop. Third…” Lucy shakes her head feeling like a mom lecturing a child. “Third…” She looks to Garcia for help.

“Third, stay out of my damn room.” Garcia says.

“Yes, stay out of Gar-Flynn’s room.” Lucy says, placing a strand of hair nervously behind her ear. She hopes that Garcia hasn’t noticed that she very nearly called him by his first name. She looks at Wyatt sternly. “Now, go back to your own bed.” She turns to look at Garcia. “And you… you… you…” All she can think about is how badly she wants to crawl into bed with him and fall asleep.

“Do you want to sleep in my room, Lucy?” He asks.

She stares at him with her mouth open, having swallowed a large amount of air the moment he asked her that question. She hiccups.

“No, no… I…” Hiccup. “…we shouldn’t,” Hiccup. “I mean… I thought we decided that,” Hiccup. “… that we are just,” Hiccup. “Friends.” Hiccup.

Garcia goes to Lucy and rubs his hand on her upper back.

“Then at least let me get you a glass of water so you can try to get rid of these hiccups.”

Hiccup.

Lucy nods her head.

Hiccup.

Garcia lowers his hand to her lower back and guides her toward the kitchen.

Hiccup.

Lucy tries her best to stop hiccupping as Garcia pours her a tall glass of water.

Hiccup.

She doesn’t want to wake up the girls, especially not Jessica who no doubt would-

Hiccup.

-would use this against her in some way to try to get she and Garcia to hook up or whatever-

Hiccup.

-it is that Jess tried to accomplish earlier by locking them in the bathroom.

Hiccup.

Hiccup.

Garcia hands Lucy the glass of water.

Hiccup.

She takes it from him and smiles.

Hiccup.

“Hold your breath and drink the whole glass of water without stopping, that should do the-”

Hiccup.

“-trick.” He finishes.

Lucy nods her head and holds her breath as she drinks the full glass of water. She finishes it and hands the glass back to Garcia.

“Better?” He asks.

“I think so.”

He sets the glass down in the sink and goes back to Lucy, holding her with both hands at the waist. He lowers his head to speak to her.

“My offer still stands.”

“Offer?”

“You can sleep in my room if you want.”

“Where would you sleep? You can’t exactly sleep out here since it’s our girls night in sleepover.”

“I could curl up in the chair in my room.”

“No. I’m not letting you do that again.”

“Really, it’s not a problem.” He tells her.

Unbeknownst to them, Jessica lifts her head and peers over the couch at the two of them. She smiles. Those two idiots have it so bad for each other. She thinks they both know this, but are to stupid to do anything about it. She lays back down on the air mattress she’s sleeping on. And how friggin’ cute were they with Lucy hiccupping and Garcia helping her? Jessica is grinning from ear-to-ear. If she has to be married to the resident dumbass, she surely can enjoy watching the impending romance between Lucy and Garcia play out, right?

“I’ll wake you up before any of them get up in the morning. That way you can just say that you were sleeping on the couch all night.”

Jessica shakes her head, and sits up again and watches as Garcia places his arm across Lucy’s shoulders as they walk together back to his room.


	7. The Final Hour of Night In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last hour of the sleepover!

“Shhhhhhhh…” Jiya whispers, trying not to giggle.

“Here, gimme it.” Denise holds out her hand.

Jiya hands her the tube of red lipstick and Denise pushes her to the side as she draws two large red circles on both of Wyatt’s cheeks. The two women giggle.

“I feel like I’m in the fourth grade all over again.” Denise whispers, closing the lipstick tube.

“Hand me the mascara.”

Denise hands Jiya the mascara and she proceeds to fill in Wyatt’s facial hair, adding a moustache to his sweet ol’ baby face. She snorts and looks down at Wyatt, expecting him to wake up.

He doesn’t.

“Give me the black eyebrow pencil, I want to draw in a plunging widow’s peak.”

Jiya hands Denise the eyebrow pencil and has to cover her mouth as she laughs hard, watching Denise make Wyatt’s hairline look like he’s effing Count Chocula. Jiya snorts as Denise starts to fill out Wyatt’s eyebrows so they look really, really thick and hairy.

“Do his sideburns.” Jiya says as quietly as she can.

Denise nods her head and connects Wyatt’s sideburns with the facial hair Jiya filled in moments ago.

“Oh my God!” Jiya exclaims. “We have to leave. I’m gonna pee my pants!”

Jiya stands up and runs out of the room, crashing right into Jessica who looks like she’s on some kind of mission of her own.

“What’re you up to?” Jessica asks.

“Practicing Halloween makeup tricks on your husband with Denise, that’s all.”

Jessica peers into hers and Wyatt’s room and sees Denise putting the finishing touches on her husband’s face. Her lips purse and she nods her head.

“Impressive.” Jessica says. “Hey, so he doesn’t know. You and Denise should remove the mirrors from the bathroom and hide them. That way Wyatt won’t know what you’ve done and everyone else can get a good laugh over breakfast.”

Jiya’s eyes go wide and she nods her head enthusiastically.

That’s a super idea.

\-----

Lucy can’t sleep.

Garcia’s bed is comfortable enough, and warm, and somehow he’s managed to secure the warmest blankets in the bunker, but the moron insisted that he sleep on that damn chair again. One thing she loves about him is that he’s a gentleman, but dammit, sometimes a girl just wants a man who will wrap his arms around her and keep her warm on cold nights.

Not that she’s cold.

Hell, she would pretend to be cold if the air conditioner were broken and it was one-hundred degrees in here if it would get him to wrap her in his arms as she falls asleep. She sighs and reminds herself that not an hour ago she told Garcia that she just wants to be friends with him.

_Friends._

_Only friends._

_Nothing more than just friends._

_He’s her co-worker, and relationships in the workplace are always a bad idea._

_Always._

_Always, always, always, always._

_Always a bad idea._

_Right?_

Lucy hears giggling coming from the bathroom.

She sits up.

“Flynn?” She whispers.

He’s actually asleep, arms crossed over his chest.

Lucy stands up.

It sounds like Jiya and Denise are up. She looks at the digital display on Garcia’s alarm clock. It’s nearly four in the morning. Shit. She knows they’re going to wonder where the Hell she’s been. So much for Garcia’s “I’ll wake you up before any of them get up in the morning” thing so that they don’t know that she ditched the sleepover to spend the night with Garcia again.

Lucy looks at Garcia. He even refused a blanket, but you know what? Lucy tugs the navy-blue blanket off his bed and looks over at his stubborn, sleeping ass. She covers him, tucking the blanket around his body. His eyes flutter open and he smiles at her as he wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her into his lap to cuddle.

_Friends._

_Just friends._

Lucy blinks. Then blinks again as he nuzzles his head against her. Then blinks again as he tries to make room for the two of them on this stupid chair.

“It’s nice.” He mumbles.

Ok, so this isn’t his bed, and she isn’t exactly comfortable, but at least his arms are holding her, right?

_F.R.I.E.N.D.S._

_Friends!_

Lucy looks around the room as if trying to find an escape from her just-friends arms. Not that she wants to leave, but she really doesn’t want the girls to find out she ditched them to spend the night with him. Jessica, in particular, would never let her forget.

Not that Lucy wants to forget what it feels like with his arms wrapped around her.

_Friends! Lucy! Just friends!_

She shakes her head to try to snap herself out of it <--- “it” being the warm and pleasant thoughts she’s having about feeling his arms hold strong around her body. The way he mumbled “it’s nice” as he shifted in his half-awake state to be more comfortable. She sighs.

“Garcia?”

His mouth drops open and he exhales a cute little snore. She’s pretty sure that he’s asleep. She carefully turns and looks at him and runs her hand through his hair. She shouldn’t. She really, really shouldn’t do that. Touching his gently does not help her pretend that all they are to each other is just friends. No, touching his hair gently as he cuddles with her in this stupid chair only makes her want to take the cuddling back to bed.

She knows she should leave and go see what antics her friends are up to. But… what girl in her right mind would run away from this? A couple weeks ago during Spin The Bottle night even married Jessica, and in a committed relationship Jiya were all over this tall, beautiful Croatian. And both women since that night have encouraged her to get a little Croatian lip service for herself. Lucy smiles to herself as she gazes at Garcia’s lips and the words of the wise Jiya Marri ring in her head:

_Treat yourself, Lucy. He’s a real Croatian tongue delicatessen._

Then above her she hears a scuffle. She looks up toward the air vent on the ceiling. Ok, so… Denise assured everyone before they moved in that she had pest control clear the place out, but umm…

“Garcia…” Lucy shakes him. “Garcia… wake up.”

He nuzzles his face against her arm.

“I think there’s a rat in the air vent.” She hears the scuffle again. “Garcia?” She raises her voice.

“Hm?” His eyes flutter open and he tries to sit up tall when he realizes that Lucy is sitting in his lap. “Why aren’t you in bed?”

“Doesn’t matter. I think there’s a rat in the air vent.” Lucy whispers.

“Why are you whispering?”

“It might hear us.”

“Does that matter?”

“If we start plotting its demise, yes.” Lucy answers.

“We’re not gonna kill an innocent rat. We’ll catch it and let it outside.” Garcia says as he helps lift Lucy off his lap so he can stand. “I’ll go find a ladder.”

There’s a loud CLANK! that comes from the air vent. Lucy scurries to catch up with Garcia as he goes to hunt down a ladder. They exit his room and have to stop quickly to avoid being run over by Denise and Jiya who are holding hands, giggling, running down the hall.

Lucy follows him into the common area and then to where they dock the Lifeboat. He grabs a ladder which is leaning on the wall. Lucy starts to follow him back toward his room but she catches Jiya’s eye and the younger woman is up on her feet and at Lucy’s side in an instant.

“Where’ve you been?” Jiya asks, winking at Lucy as she watches Garcia head down the hallway.

“I… I… well, you see… I was… I was cold and I know that Flynn has extra blankets so I uh… I went, no…. I snuck into his room and-”

“You’ve been missing for nearly an hour, Lucy. Don’t even try to lie.” Jiya nudges her as Garcia disappears into his room. “Did you kiss? Please tell me that you two finally kissed.”

Lucy shakes her head and Jiya deflates, disappointed.

“Flynn and I are just friends.” Lucy tells her.

“My butt!” Jiya exclaims. “If you were just friends with him you would have been all over him when we played Spin The Bottle.” Jiya crosses her arms over her chest.

“When did you play Spin The Bottle?” Denise joins them.

“You weren’t here. It was the night you had Connor babysit your kids.”

“Oh…” Denise looks at her friends and fixes a pink curler in her hair. “Who kissed Wyatt?”

“No one.” Lucy answers.

Denise snorts and covers her mouth. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh.”

Denise and Jiya share a look and the two of them burst out laughing.

“I feel I’ve missed something.” Lucy says.

“If you hadn’t been in Flynn’s room, we would have let you in on it!” Denise exclaims, laughing loudly now.

Suddenly, there’s a loud CLANG! directly above the three women. Lucy’s eyes are wide and she points up at the ceiling.

“Rat! There’s a large rat in the air ducts!” Lucy exclaims.

Garcia comes running out of his room. He looks terrified. He runs up to the women and places his hands on his hips.

“So… I took off the vent cover and reached into the duct and… it’s hairless. It is large and it is hairless and it let out an almost human-like yelp and scurried away.” He says this trying to look all cool like he isn’t freaked out, but no one is buying it.

Down another hallway, they hear another loud CLANK! It sounds as if this rat has fallen out of the air ducts and is now in one of the storage rooms. Garcia steps behind Lucy and places his hands on her shoulders. Lucy tries to swat his hands away so she can hide behind him, but he refuses to give up his position. He leans down and says into her ear:

“If it breaks out the door… don’t worry… I’ll pick you up in my arms and carry you out of here.”

The four of them creep towards the room where they heard the rat crash out of the air ducts. Denise makes a motion to go for her weapon, but she’s in her pajamas and isn’t wearing her holster. No one has anything. They only have each other.

Denise places her hand on the doorknob and just as she’s about to open it, the door swings open to reveal Jessica Logan. She’s covered in dirt, dust and dead insects. She carries only her phone in her hand.

“Oh… hey guys.” Jessica says casually. “What’s up?”

Garcia lets go of Lucy’s shoulders and steps toward Jessica, pointing his index finger at her accusingly.

“You were the rat!” He tells her.

Jessica runs her hand through her hair nervously. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She says and tries to make a getaway. But Jiya stops her.

“What were you… was it you in the air ducts?” Jiya asks.

“Umm…” Jessica looks toward Lucy and Garcia, then back to Jiya and uses her eyes to communicate that yes, that was her, and no, she’s not going to explain herself right now with Lucy and Garcia standing right there.

Jiya seems to understand this silent communication and nods her head as if to tell Jessica that, ok, she won’t press her for more information. But any chance that… Jiya glances down at the phone in Jessica’s hand… any chance that Jess was up in the air ducts collecting evidence to present to Lucy to prove that Lucy’s “just friends” bullcrap is just that… bullcrap.

Jessica nods her head and says, “Yes.”

“Yes, what?” Garcia asks having watched the whole silent conversation go down in front of him.

“Nothing.” Jessica says. “So… the bathroom door… any chance it’s fixed or do I have to take a quick shower and hope no one walks in on me?”

Jessica doesn’t hang around for an answer, she walks away from her friends and disappears into the doorless bathroom to shower to get rid of all the dirt, dust and insect carcasses which are all over her body.

“I guess the mystery of the large, hairless rat has been solved.” Denise says. “I think we should all try to get some sleep now. It’s almost five o’clock and I would hate for us to have had _passer une nuit blanche _and have to chase after Rittenhouse.”

Jiya and Denise walk back toward the living area where they have set up sleeping bags and air mattresses for their girls only sleepover. Lucy watches them walk away and looks up at Garcia.

“So…” She says.

“So…?”

“I should… I should go back to the sleepover.” Lucy nervously runs her hand through her hair.

Garcia nods his head and rubs the back of his neck nervously. He’s only vaguely aware that somehow Lucy wound up in his arms in that chair in his room. It was nice waking up with her in his arms, but again… she just wants to be friends so…

“I think that’s a good idea. They’re your friends and it’s girls night in after all.” He smiles down at her and moves to hug her, but decides against it. He runs his hand through his hair. “Goodnight, Lucy.”

“Night.” She says meekly as she watches him return to his bunk.

She lets out a sigh and walks back to the common area.

_Just friends, Lucy. Just friends._

Lucy lays down on the couch and pulls a thin blanket up over her. She closes her eyes and drifts off to sleep.


	8. The Unwelcome Drunken Kidnapping of Emma Whitmore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor makes a mistake on the Titanic mission and Emma Whitmore both suffers for it, and learns a little too much about her Time Team enemies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! With all the uncertainty going on in the world right now, I wanted to write something that I hope you enjoy that's a little silly in the hope that it will make you smile and laugh a little bit. Love you all, and thank you for reading. And for those of you wondering about "The Road Less Traveled" I should have chapter 10 up sometime this month (March 2020). In the meantime, enjoy the next chapter of "Bunker Shenanigans Presents!"
> 
> As with the previous chapters of BSP, no editor/beta reader is used.

“GET YOUR DAMN HANDS OFF ME!” Emma screams at Garcia Flynn as he lifts her up and slings her over his shoulder in a fireman’s hold.

Emma is pissed off.

She was sent by Rittenhouse to board the damn Titanic from Southampton, retrieve an important artifact from the ship’s cargo hold, and to get off the thing before it set out for Cherbourg. The hope was that Lucy and her stupid gang of obnoxiously efficient assholes would stay aboard the ill-fated ship and die a few days later when it sank to the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean, but no-ooooo. This asshole, Garcia Flynn found her before she could even board the ship.

The rest of his team must have seen him dragging her along the crowded street because they’re not too far behind them now. Emma scrunches her nose as Garcia belches. His breath reeks of alcohol which surprises her because not once, when she was under his “employ” did he drink anything other than water. If she weren’t so pissed off, she’d chuckle at her assumption that Lucy and her boy toys have driven him to drink.

“Flynn!” Lucy calls out to him.

Emma looks up and sees Lucy holding up the skirt of her light brown, third class dress as she runs toward her tall, drunk kidnapping friend. Fuck. If anyone can get through to him in his drunken state, it would be Little Miss Rittenhouse Princess herself. Emma hates that her ability to escape Flynn depends on that bitch.

“Flynn! Stop!” Lucy calls out again, and Garcia only glances at her over his shoulder.

“YOU BETTER BE THINKING ABOUT TALKING THIS GIANT OGRE OUT OF…” Emma has no idea what Flynn is up to, “OUT OF WHATEVER THE HELL HE’S PLANNING TO DO WITH ME, PRINCESS!” Emma shouts.

Lucy shoots her an annoyed look and continues to run after them.

Garcia turns a corner and makes his way down a narrow alleyway. He comes to a stop in front of a door that looks to be padlocked.

“Fuck.” Garcia says as he touches a padlock which hadn’t been on the door when he, Lucy, Connor, and Rufus left the Lifeboat inside the building only a few hours ago. “Fuckity, fuck!” He belches again and sways as his sense of balance is thrown off by the power of his belch.

“You better not drop me, Flynn.” Emma warns as her eyes scan his backside to see if there’s anything she can grab to get herself off of his shoulder.

He laughs and starts spinning her around in a circle, or maybe an oval. He’s drunk so perhaps he’s actually spinning around and around in a figure eight. It’s hard to tell. He laughs to himself and exclaims, “EAGLE!!!” as he keeps spinning and spinning and spinning.

He comes to a stop and pauses, and chokes back vomit.

That wasn’t very smart now, was it?

He shakes his head to try to clear his mind and looks back at the padlock on the door as Emma tries to brush her now loose hair from her face. She’s so pissed off. Carol Preston and Nicholas Keynes are going to get an earful whenever she can get herself out of this mess and back to the Mothership.

Panting, Lucy finally catches up with him. She touches his arm and actually gives Emma a sympathetic look, as if to apologize for how Garcia kidnapped her.

Garcia spins around to face Lucy, almost hitting Emma’s head on the brick wall of the building.

“Lucy!” He bends down and kisses her cheek. “Someone locked us out.” He says, pointing at the padlock.

“Why don’t you set Emma down… and then you’ll be able to figure out how to pick the lock.” Lucy tells him carefully, unsure if Emma is armed, and a little scared of whatever else a drunk Garcia Flynn might do. Sure, she’s seen him drink before, but never as much as Connor convinced him to drink today.

“No.” Garcia defies Lucy’s order to set Emma down. “She’s coming back with us. I’m sure Denise has a… some few questions she’d like to asking her as well.” He burps. “And I think if she spent some times with us, hang out as friend maybe, at the bunker, that she might like us better than Rittenhouse and help us instead of being evil.”

Lucy can’t help but smile at him. In his slurred speech, his Croatian accent is coming out THICK.

_5.25 inches, flaccid_… Lucy bites her lower lip and allows her eyes to fall below Garcia’s belt… _but what about his girth?_

Emma notices that Lucy has become distracted. She follows Lucy’s eyes and sees that she’s gazing at Flynn’s effing crotch! She rolls her eyes. Unbelievable. She clears her throat and addresses Lucy. “Why is he drunk?”

“I don’t know what his girth is, Emma.” Lucy answers, still under this trance-like state she gets in when her mind wanders to the nocturnal – or perhaps shower-nal, or up-against-a-wall-ernal – anatomy and activities of Garcia Flynn.

“HEY!” Emma shouts. “PRINCESS!”

Lucy shakes her head and her face goes deep red. She looks at Emma and asks, “I’m sorry, what was your question?”

“Why is he drunk?”

“Oh, uh… he told Connor there was no way he was boarding the Titanic sober. That to do it, he’d have to be more drunk than he’s ever been before in his life.” Lucy shakes her head, wishing she could go back in time and stop that from ever happening. “Connor bought him a few drinks, and then he went to find you.” Lucy pauses. “We tried to stop him but…” Lucy looks back at Garcia who is barely balancing on one foot, Emma still over his shoulder, trying to use the front of his shoe to unlock the padlock on the door, “… but… he’s just too big and strong, and…” Lucy sighs as her beautiful moron lightly taps the padlock with his toe, “… and muscular, and intelligent… and one of the most gorgeous men I’ve ever seen, and…”

“I get it, you want him, but… can you get him to put me down?” Emma scowls at Garcia and squirms to try to break free.

Garcia tightens his grip on her and turns around to face Lucy.

“I’m not that drunk, Lucy.” Garcia says, taking a step backward and almost losing his balance. Lucy steps toward him to help steady him, to keep him from falling and injuring Emma. She wraps her fingers around the top of his bicep and her heart – and a more southern region – flutter when she feels his muscle contract.

“Ok…” Lucy plays along with him, “you’re not drunk but can you please put Emma down?” She lowers her gaze and looks back up at him from her lowered eyes. “For me?”

Garcia looks at Lucy and his expression softens and his heart melts. God, he loves her. She’s so beautiful in her light brown dress, with her hair pulled back in a braid, barely any makeup on her face, with wisps of her soft hair floating around her face. He sighs. If he were any drunker, he’d set down Emma and…

He sets Emma down.

He goes to Lucy.

He places one hand at Lucy’s waist, and the other behind her neck.

He leans down.

He closes his eyes.

He puckers his lips.

And…

Lucy quickly turns her head so that his lips intercept her cheek. He’s drunk, and she doesn’t want their first kiss to happen in front of Emma Whitmore while he’s smashed and might not remember it, and… Lucy looks behind him as he holds her shoulders to keep himself from stumbling. Emma is inching toward him, her eye on the gun in his pocket.

“I don’t think so, Emma.” Lucy says, grabbing Garcia’s gun and aiming it at the redheaded woman.

Emma raises her arms in the air. She smirks. As much as she hates Lucy, she loves that the woman is turning into a worthy adversary.

“Look, Princess-”

Garcia tugs gently at the sleeve of Lucy’s dress. “Why she calling you Princess, Lucy…?” He fumbles his fingers over her hair and smiles down at her, with complete adoration in his eyes. “You’re the princess of my heart… and…” He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, “tako si lijepa, Lucy… volim te, slatkice… zaljubljen sam u tebe… ja te obožavam…” He hiccups. “Pitam se kako će izgledati naša djeca.“

“What’s he saying?” Emma asks

“I have no idea.” Lucy answers, having only understood a word here and there.

Both women are getting annoyed with him.

He continues to gently tug on Lucy’s sleeve.

“Loooocy…” He tries to nuzzle his face into the crook of her neck.

Lucy gently pushes him away, keeping her eyes on Emma. “Not now, Garcia.” Lucy says, wanting to berate Connor for buying Garcia alcohol. Not just buying it, but berate him because Garcia drank the alcohol and now she has this six-foot four-inch, two-hundred-pound Croatian, who, if she’s not mistaken from the little Croatian she has picked up, is showering her with compliments, using Croatian words for beautiful, I love you, adore you, and something about their (future?) children (together?!).

As sweet as that is, the fact remains that he’s drunk and has become useless here in 1912.

Absolutely useless.

It’s frustrating that he won’t remember any of this, so whatever he said in Croatian can’t possibly progress whatever relationship could and should be happening between them.

Running around the corner, Connor and Rufus join them, skidding to a stop when they see that Lucy has a gun fixed on Emma.

“Lucy…?” Rufus approaches cautiously, his eyes glued on Emma. “Why did Flynn take her? What did she do to the Titanic? It just left port and we’re not on it to stop Rittenhouse.”

“RUFUS!” Garcia spins around and stumbles toward his pal. He hugs Rufus and kisses him on the top of his head. He turns, wrapping his arm around Rufus’s shoulders and smiles at Emma. “I was going-a bring Miss Whitmore back to the bunker to… to…” Garcia stops. He forgets what he was going to say, but he improvises. “To… make her play hide and seek with Wyatt and then…” Garcia lowers his voice to a loud whisper and says, “and then I was gonna ask Lucy to marry me.”

“Were you now?” Rufus asks, waving his hand in front of his nose because Garcia’s breath is not anything anyone wants to smell right now.

Garcia enthusiastically nods his head. He points at Lucy.

“Look at her, Ruru… isn’t she purrrty?” Garcia smiles and… is he trying to conceal that he’s giggling like a schoolgirl, and… blushing?

Rufus raises an eyebrow and looks at Lucy.

She shrugs her shoulders but inside her heart is fluttering like a monarch butterfly.

“So… I haven’t been on many of these trips… what do we do with her?” Connor asks, nodding toward Emma.

Garcia looks at Connor, smiles a very teethy smile. Garcia then turns around and charges toward Emma. She steps out of the way and he goes flying through the padlocked door and falls to the ground. He rolls onto his back and groans and laughs. He’s probably hurt himself, but he’s too drunk to realize it. He seems to be having a jolly good time.

Lucy glares at Connor and shakes her head.

Connor shrugs, he really thought Garcia could hold his liquor.

He was terribly wrong.

And then… Emma makes a run for the Lifeboat. She sees it has been covered with a dirty tarp. She tears it off and climbs up to its door and opens it. It pays to be one of the engineers who designed this piece of garbage.

“Aaaauughh!” Lucy exclaims as she tugs hard at the hem of Emma’s lavender tea gown to try to stop her.

Lucy follows Emma into the Lifeboat and pulls her hair as Rufus and Connor come running to help her. They both know that Emma is quite capable of piloting the Lifeboat and they don’t want to risk being stranded here in 1912.

“Guys!” Garcia calls out to his teammates. “Wait for me!”

Garcia is running in zig-zags toward the Lifeboat, but his third foot gets in the way and he falls out of view of his friends.

Rufus jumps onto Emma’s back and wraps his arms around her neck and falls backward onto the metal floor of the Lifeboat. Emma screams and pulls at Rufus’s arms to try to break free. But she can’t escape him. He’s holding onto her with all his might.

Wide-eyed, Connor knows what he has to do.

He sits in the pilot chair and starts typing in the coordinates to get them back to the bunker in 2017.

Lucy pokes her head out of the Lifeboat’s door and sees Garcia struggling to get up into the machine. She also sees that he’s acquired a bloody nose and a nasty bruise on his forehead.

_My poor baby_… Lucy thinks, placing her hand over her heart.

She glances back at Rufus and Connor to make sure that Emma is still somewhat under control. Then she jumps out of the machine, and does her best to help lift all 200 pounds of Garcia Flynn up into the Lifeboat. With his help, she succeeds and he reaches down and pulls her up. They stumble backward and Lucy falls on top of him. He wraps his arms around her, and starts to cuddle.

Connor revs up the engines and the machine comes to life. Lucy breaks free of Garcia’s arms and closes the Lifeboat’s door moments before the machine jumps forward through time.

Now… the Lifeboat is no luxury time machine, it’s a rackety piece of garbage held together by “bubble gum wrappers” – or so Rufus has jokingly claimed. The machine vibrates and since Garcia is laying on the floor, he laughs because:

“It tickles, Looocy!”

Lucy tries to stand up to get to a seat to buckle herself in, but she loses her balance and falls on top of Garcia again. He holds onto her well enough that a seatbelt might not be needed, but the vibration of the machine still manages to move them around on the floor from side to side.

Lucy squeezes her eyes shut.

She’s frustrated.

They’ve had bad trips before, but this one takes the cake. She wishes that the girls had come with her instead of the penis measuring boys club from the night before (minus Mr. 2.75 Inches Wyatt Logan). Jessica, Jiya, and Denise would have been much more competent than – Lucy looks around at the men in the Lifeboat – at least more competent than Garcia, at this point anyway.

And FUCK! Emma Whitmore is traveling with them back to their secret bunker?!

Lucy can’t roll her eyes hard enough.

Garcia nuzzles his bloody nose against Lucy’s neck and is muttering something incoherent now. They’ll be lucky if he stays conscious long enough to get himself off this machine when they return.

“I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU GUYS!” Emma screeches. “KIDNAPPING ME MEANS THE MOTHERSHIP IS STUCK IN 1912!” She tries to bite Rufus’s arm. She fails. “WHAT IF SOMEONE LIKE EFFING EDISON GETS HIS HANDS ON IT?! HOW ARE YOU ALL SO IRRESPONSIBLE?!” She huffs angrily, still struggling to break free of Rufus. “And to think that I was starting to believe you all were a bunch of efficient assholes!”

Garcia places his lips against Lucy’s ear and whispers, “I have an asshole. We all have assholes. And all assholes are efficient with laxatives.” He kisses her forehead, smiles, closes his eyes, turns his head to the side, and exhales.

Lucy’s face scrunches. She did NOT need to hear Garcia whisper that into her ear.

The Lifeboat falls silent.

They’re back home at the bunker.

Rufus lets go of Emma now that they’re home.

Everyone in the Lifeboat has their eyes on her, wondering what the Hell they’re going to do with her.

Emma fixes her hair, picks up the front of her lavender tea gown, huffs, and opens the door to the Lifeboat and makes her way angrily down the ladder. She comes to a dead stop when she sees Wyatt Logan standing in front of her. His gun is drawn.

Emma bursts out laughing.

He’s giving her a death glare, but… but… how can she take him seriously when he has dark red rosy cheeks, his peach-fuzz facial hair is smudged as if it had been drawn in with a pencil, as well as his cartoon-like – also drawn – moustache. And how the hell does he have such an exaggerated widow’s peak?! And really thick and hairy, dark eyebrows.

“Hands in the air, Emma.” Wyatt says, still having no clue that Jiya and Denise used him as their canvas last night.

She does as she’s told, but can’t stop laughing at him.

Jessica, Jiya and Denise approach – also trying not to laugh – as Rufus and Connor exit the Lifeboat – also trying not to laugh. Everyone is trying not to laugh because Denise and Jiya took Jessica’s advice the night before and hid all the bathroom mirrors so Wyatt wouldn’t know that makeup was used to make him look like freaking Count Chocula.

“He still doesn’t know?” Rufus asks.

“No…” Jiya answers, going up on her toes to kiss him on the cheek. “Why is Emma with you guys?”

“That would be partially my fault.” Connor answers. “I… well… let’s just say that I thought Flynn could handle a few drinks, but I was wrong.”

“Where is Flynn? And where is Lucy?” Denise asks, her voice filled with concern.

“Looks like Lucy’s trying to help him out of the machine.” Jessica says, pointing at them.

Everyone, even Emma, turns and watches as Lucy is attempting to haul her Tol Croatian Tree (™) out of the Lifeboat. His body is limp and he must have finally passed out.

Lucy looks down at all the eyes on her and not one of them making a move to help her get Garcia off the machine safely. “A little help would be nice.” She growls, scowling at Connor.

Emma eyes the bunker team and is baffled by the fact that no one is making a move to help poor Princess Lucy.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Emma says, shaking her head at these dimwits. She climbs back up the stairs and helps Lucy drag Garcia Flynn’s limp body down the ladder.

Emma stops helping Lucy once he’s lying, face first, on the floor.

Lucy gets down on her knees and rolls him onto his back.

Emma places her hands on her hips and looks around.

“So, this is where you guys have been hiding out all this time?” She observes.

Rufus is quick to run right up to her, his nose in her face.

“I don’t think so, Emma. I’m not letting you get a good look at this place.” He says.

“What? There’s something here I could see that would give away its location?” She smirks, her eyes twinkling at the possibility of figuring out how to get back to Rittenhouse and leading a squad in here to kill them all.

Elsewhere in the bunker the annoying opening beats of Justin Bieber’s _Baby_. Everyone in the room groans. Not this again! But Wyatt’s eyes light up and he does a little skip and a hop as he scurries away down the hall. He opens the door to his and Jessica’s room, the music is a little louder. He shuts the door and the music is a little quieter.

Jessica shakes her head more at herself than anything, for tolerating this, but also at how obsessed Wyatt has become with The Biebs.

_Ooh whoa, ooh whoa, ooh whoa  
You know you love me, I know you care  
Just shout whenever and I’ll be there  
You are my love, you are my heart  
And we will never, ever, ever be apart_

Emma looks at Jessica.

Jessica looks at Emma.

The two women obviously know each other. They say nothing about their acquaintance since Rittenhouse _is_ using Jessica to infiltrate this group after all.

A few seconds later, Wyatt realizes that he shouldn't have left, so he returns, quietly singing along with The Biebs.

_Are we an item? Girl quit playin’  
We’re just friends, what are you sayin’  
Said there’s another, look right in my eyes  
My first love, broke my heart for the first time_

Jess starts laughing and addresses Lucy, “Girl! This is like yours and Flynn’s song!” She snort laughs. "Just friends!"

_And I was like baby, baby, baby oh  
Like baby, baby, baby no  
Like baby, baby, baby oh_

Unamused, Lucy stands up, leaving Garcia's side on the floor, and shakes her head at Jessica. “I hate you so much right now, Jess.” But Lucy can’t help but smile. People hear songs and think about whatever it is that’s happening with she and Garcia. _ZOMG, that’s so exciting! We're being shipped!  
_

“O… K…” Rufus regains the attention of everyone in the room. “Permission to haul Emma back to 1912 so she can’t identify where we are and report back to Rittenhouse?”

“Permission granted.” Denise says, pulling out her gun and aiming it at Emma. “Follow Rufus back into the Lifeboat. Wyatt?”

“Yes, ma’am?”

“Go with him, but whatever you do… don’t get out of the Lifeboat once you’re there.”

“What if we need to escort her back to the Mothership?” Wyatt asks. “I wouldn’t mind taking a stroll in 1912.”

“Trust me, Wyatt, you don’t want to go out in public looking like…” Denise shakes her head and chuckles.

“Like what, ma’am? Is it my beard?”

Jessica howls and slaps her hand against her leg. “Oh, Wyatt, you’ve never been able to grow a beard!”

Wyatt touches his face and right now is when he realizes, as he gazes down at the black makeup pencil left on his fingertips, that he's been messed with. He squeaks and dashes out of sight, down the hallway, his fragile ego bruised.

Emma watches on in disbelief. She wonders if maybe Connor Mason accidentally jumped to some alternate universe where Lucy’s team is a bunch of Justin Bieber-listening morons.

_Baby, baby, baby oh  
Like baby, baby, baby no  
Like baby, baby, baby oh  
I thought you’d always be mine_

“Please, for the love of all that’s good and holy, get me out of here.” Emma says. She turns on her heel, holds up the front of her dress, steps over Garcia’s body, and ascends the ladder to the Lifeboat. She doesn’t even want to bother stealing the damn thing at this point, she just wants to get back to 1912, back to the Mothership, and back home to the real world.

Rufus looks down the hall where Wyatt disappeared to. Then he looks at Connor. “Care to come with me? I don’t really want to take her back alone.” He looks down at Garcia on the floor. “Kinda wish the big guy was awake and sober to come with me.”

“No, I think I’ll sit this one out. Anyway, I think it best that Denise accompany you since she’s the only one armed right now who is of sound mind.” Connor answers.

Denise nods her head.

She and Rufus disappear inside the Lifeboat and it bends the air in the room and disappears.

A couple hours later, Lucy emerged from the bathroom. Her hair up in a towel and wearing her satin bathrobe. She skipped going straight to (hers and) Garcia’s room and went to check up on him out by the Lifeboat. No one in the bunker had wanted to help her try to pick him up and move him to his bed, so there he lays, on the cold concrete ground, blissfully unaware of the hangover he’s going to have in the morning.

Lucy removes the towel from her head and rubs it through her hair. She hangs the towel on the back of a chair. She takes a roll of paper towel and a glass of water, and kneels next to Garcia. She dabs the paper towel in the water and uses it to clean the dried blood from underneath his nose.

“I’m so sorry that we share a bunker with complete idiots.” She whispers, leaning down and placing a kiss on the bruise on his forehead.

She stands up and takes the paper towel back to the kitchen. She looks around. The blankets and pillow she used when she slept on the couch are still in the living area. She gathers them and returns to Garcia’s side. He lets out a soft snore as she gently lifts his head and places the pillow beneath it. She then unfolds the blanket, lies down next to him, and covers them both. She shivers. The concrete floor is freezing cold, but she doesn’t care. She doesn’t want him to sleep alone. If the others think that he deserves to sleep on the cold concrete floor, then they would want the same for her. Maybe if they all wake up in the morning and see her out here with Garcia they’ll realize how awful they were not to help her get back to his room.

She rests her head against him and drapes her arm around his waist, pulling herself closer to him. She closes her eyes and inhales deeply, wanting to smell his cinnamon scented aftershave, but instead... he smells awful. Her nose wrinkles, but she doesn’t care. He's her smelly, passed-out drunk. And she can't wait to take care of him tomorrow when he'll need to be babied (_baby, baby, baby oh_ <--- she hates Wyatt so much right now) because of his hangover.

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOUR HAIR?!” Jessica screams from hers and Wyatt’s room.

Lucy lifts her head, considers getting up to see what the fuss is about, then decides that she doesn’t care what stupid thing Wyatt has done this time. She lowers her head on Garcia again, closes her eyes, and tries to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry about that earworm!


End file.
